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This is my New Year's Special 2017!

The Special

Pharoah Hotep: Hey son? I'm going to take a nice hot bath.

Amset Ra: Okay. Just don't kill yourself in toxic sludge!

Pharoah Hotep: I will!

Pharoah Hotep walks to Jokerland.

Joker: HeHeHeHeHe! He walked right into our trap!

Riddler: The trap is waiting to be sprung; the carnage has only just begun!

Clayface: Food! Food! YumYum.

Two-Face: Yes, oh yes. I will get my revenge.

--

Pharoah Hotep: There's the Toxic Pool thingy majigy.

The Cat in the Hat: Hey! That's copyright infringement!

Pharoah Hotep: Who cares.

The Cat in the Hat: Why this sounds like a job for Thing 1 and Thing 2!

Thing: Someone called?

Clayface: Cheap knockoff. Clayface destroy cheap knockoff!

Thing: You may fight, but I will win. I will triumph!

Riddler: Fight now, and it will be your downfall. But fight later, and I will give you milk and chocolate chip cookies!

Clayface: OK.

Pharoah Hotep: I think this bath in Toxic Sludge is getting awfully dangerous. I think I should go back to the pyramid.

--

Amset Ra: I think we should get you some Bodyguards, Dad.

Pharoah Hotep: OK.

Amset Ra: How about the Death Troopers?

Pharoah Hotep: Sure.

One day later, Krennic's Imperial Shuttle lands on the desert outside the ARFP.

Director Orson Krennic: Renting my Death Troopers out to other people? Something about that smell so fishy?

Death Trooper 1: Fish? I love fish.

The Imperial Shuttle lands.

Director Krennic: I have four Death Trooper out for rent for $4,567.82 credits per millesecond.

Amset Ra: That's outrageous!

Director Krennic: Would you like me to zap me into pieces with my Mini Death Star?

Amset Ra: Eh? How about no.

Director Krennic: Then pay.

Amset Ra: Alright. I just have to hire a bounty hunter first.

--

Frenzy: Sounds like a job for me. I will do it for the price of Wyldstyle hair.

Amset Ra: OK.

In Corusant, capital of the Galactic Empire...

Emperor Palpatine: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Frenzy: Now I shall strike.

Grundal: As the clock strikes midnight Frenzy robs a bank. $4,567,820,000,000,000,000,000,000 Imperial Credits!

Frenzy breaks into the bank.

Stormtrooper: I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha one way, or another...

Frenzy: No you're not! To the mothership!

Alien Queen: Don't you dare steal my mothership!

Frenzy: To the fly can opener!

Frenzy Boards the Millenium Falcon.

Cue the Star Wars music.

Frenzy: Yay! Now I can give these credits to Amset Ra and get Wyldstyle's hair!

Later...

Amset Ra: Look Wyldstyle. It's nothing personal.

Wyldstyle: Not my hair!

Amset Ra: Throw her in the dungeons!

--

Director Krennic: I see you have my payment.

Amset Ra: Enough for 72 hours.

Director Krennic: You four! Come over here! Your job is to protect Pharoah Hotep for three days!

Death Troopers 2, 3, and 4: Yessir!

Death Trooper 1: I'm hungry.

3 days later...

Death Trooper 2: Are time is up.

Death Trooper 3: How about we kidnap Pharoah Hotep and demand a ransom? Then we make some extra money on the side.

Death Trooper 4: Sounds like a plan to me.

Death Trooper 1: Buys! Come look! I've found the café!

Later...

Amset Ra: Dad? Where are you? Dad? Dad! I've got to go find those Death Troopers!

Amset Ra enters the café.

Death Trooper 1: Yum! This chicken is good, Chef Axl.

Axl: Why thank you.

Amset Ra: Aha! So the Death Troopers and the TARDIS are conspiring together!

Axl: What do you mean?

Amset Ra: What did you do with my dad?

Death Trooper 1: I heard the other Death Troopers talking about kidnapping him and demanding a ransom.

Amset Ra: Then what are we waiting for! Let's get him!

Axl: We need a rescue team.

Amset Ra: I know just who to call in for the job.

--

Amset Ra: I have called you all here because you represent the best of the best. Axl, Death Trooper 1, Invizable, Tee-Vee, Mace Windu, Jack Fury, Frenzy.

Wyldstyle: FREEEENZZZZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amset Ra: You are to rescue my father, Pharoah Hotep, who is being held hostage by enemy Death Troopers on Director Orson Krennic's Imperial Shuttle.

Jack Fury: What are we waiting for? Let's go!

--

Death Trooper 1: Requesting permission to board.

Imperial Droid: What is your call sign?

Death Trooper 1: Infinity.

Imperial Droid: Shuttle Infinity, you are cleared to board.

Tee-Vee: The odds of surfing this rescue mission is 3,947,020,037,893,456,182,907.21 to 1.

Invizable: I'll go out on a surveillance run.

Invizable runs through Krennic's Shuttle and enters a room. In it is Death Trooper 3 talking to a hologram of a cloaked figure.

Death Trooper 3: We have captured Pharoah Hotep, My Lord, and a demanding a ransom.

Hologram: HOW ABOUT THE RE-GOU RUBY?

Death Trooper 3: Yes, My Lord.

Hologram: THERE IS AN INTRUDER IN THIS ROOM. SEIZE HIM AT ONCE.

Death Trooper 3: Yes, My Lord. Guards, seize him!

Invizable is grabbed, gets out of Invisible mode, and gets thrown infront of the hologram.

Hologram: WELL, WELL, WELL, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?

Death Trooper 3: An intruder, my lord.

--

Mace Windu: What's going on? Invizable should be back by now.

Jack Fury: He was probably captured.

Frenzy: FRENZY!

Axl: I'm hungry.

Death Trooper 1: Me too.

Amset Ra: What a surprise.

Axl: I could go for some pasta.

Death Trooper 1: Or some chicken.

Axl: Chicken! Yum! I love chicken.

Amset Ra: Corona!

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