This is my New Year's Special 2017!
Pharoah Hotep: Hey son? I'm going to take a nice hot bath.
Amset Ra: Okay. Just don't kill yourself in toxic sludge!
Pharoah Hotep: I will!
Pharoah Hotep walks to Jokerland.
Joker: HeHeHeHeHe! He walked right into our trap!
Riddler: The trap is waiting to be sprung; the carnage has only just begun!
Clayface: Food! Food! YumYum.
Two-Face: Yes, oh yes. I will get my revenge.
Pharoah Hotep: There's the Toxic Pool thingy majigy.
The Cat in the Hat: Hey! That's copyright infringement!
Pharoah Hotep: Who cares.
The Cat in the Hat: Why this sounds like a job for Thing 1 and Thing 2!
Thing: Someone called?
Clayface: Cheap knockoff. Clayface destroy cheap knockoff!
Thing: You may fight, but I will win. I will triumph!
Riddler: Fight now, and it will be your downfall. But fight later, and I will give you milk and chocolate chip cookies!
Pharoah Hotep: I think this bath in Toxic Sludge is getting awfully dangerous. I think I should go back to the pyramid.
Amset Ra: I think we should get you some Bodyguards, Dad.
Pharoah Hotep: OK.
Amset Ra: How about the Death Troopers?
Pharoah Hotep: Sure.
One day later, Krennic's Imperial Shuttle lands on the desert outside the ARFP.
Director Orson Krennic: Renting my Death Troopers out to other people? Something about that smell so fishy?
Death Trooper 1: Fish? I love fish.
The Imperial Shuttle lands.
Director Krennic: I have four Death Trooper out for rent for $4,567.82 credits per millesecond.
Amset Ra: That's outrageous!
Director Krennic: Would you like me to zap me into pieces with my Mini Death Star?
Amset Ra: Eh? How about no.
Director Krennic: Then pay.
Amset Ra: Alright. I just have to hire a bounty hunter first.
Frenzy: Sounds like a job for me. I will do it for the price of Wyldstyle hair.
Amset Ra: OK.
In Corusant, capital of the Galactic Empire...
Emperor Palpatine: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Frenzy: Now I shall strike.
Grundal: As the clock strikes midnight Frenzy robs a bank. $4,567,820,000,000,000,000,000,000 Imperial Credits!
Frenzy breaks into the bank.
Stormtrooper: I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha one way, or another...
Frenzy: No you're not! To the mothership!
Alien Queen: Don't you dare steal my mothership!
Frenzy: To the fly can opener!
Frenzy Boards the Millenium Falcon.
Cue the Star Wars music.
Frenzy: Yay! Now I can give these credits to Amset Ra and get Wyldstyle's hair!
Amset Ra: Look Wyldstyle. It's nothing personal.
Wyldstyle: Not my hair!
Amset Ra: Throw her in the dungeons!
Director Krennic: I see you have my payment.
Amset Ra: Enough for 72 hours.
Director Krennic: You four! Come over here! Your job is to protect Pharoah Hotep for three days!
Death Troopers 2, 3, and 4: Yessir!
Death Trooper 1: I'm hungry.
3 days later...
Death Trooper 2: Are time is up.
Death Trooper 3: How about we kidnap Pharoah Hotep and demand a ransom? Then we make some extra money on the side.
Death Trooper 4: Sounds like a plan to me.
Death Trooper 1: Buys! Come look! I've found the café!
Amset Ra: Dad? Where are you? Dad? Dad! I've got to go find those Death Troopers!
Amset Ra enters the café.
Death Trooper 1: Yum! This chicken is good, Chef Axl.
Axl: Why thank you.
Amset Ra: Aha! So the Death Troopers and the TARDIS are conspiring together!
Axl: What do you mean?
Amset Ra: What did you do with my dad?
Death Trooper 1: I heard the other Death Troopers talking about kidnapping him and demanding a ransom.
Amset Ra: Then what are we waiting for! Let's get him!
Axl: We need a rescue team.
Amset Ra: I know just who to call in for the job.
Amset Ra: I have called you all here because you represent the best of the best. Axl, Death Trooper 1, Invizable, Tee-Vee, Mace Windu, Jack Fury, Frenzy.
Amset Ra: You are to rescue my father, Pharoah Hotep, who is being held hostage by enemy Death Troopers on Director Orson Krennic's Imperial Shuttle.
Jack Fury: What are we waiting for? Let's go!
Death Trooper 1: Requesting permission to board.
Imperial Droid: What is your call sign?
Death Trooper 1: Infinity.
Imperial Droid: Shuttle Infinity, you are cleared to board.
Tee-Vee: The odds of surfing this rescue mission is 3,947,020,037,893,456,182,907.21 to 1.
Invizable: I'll go out on a surveillance run.
Invizable runs through Krennic's Shuttle and enters a room. In it is Death Trooper 3 talking to a hologram of a cloaked figure.
Death Trooper 3: We have captured Pharoah Hotep, My Lord, and a demanding a ransom.
Hologram: HOW ABOUT THE RE-GOU RUBY?
Death Trooper 3: Yes, My Lord.
Hologram: THERE IS AN INTRUDER IN THIS ROOM. SEIZE HIM AT ONCE.
Death Trooper 3: Yes, My Lord. Guards, seize him!
Invizable is grabbed, gets out of Invisible mode, and gets thrown infront of the hologram.
Hologram: WELL, WELL, WELL, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?
Death Trooper 3: An intruder, my lord.
Mace Windu: What's going on? Invizable should be back by now.
Jack Fury: He was probably captured.
Axl: I'm hungry.
Death Trooper 1: Me too.
Amset Ra: What a surprise.
Axl: I could go for some pasta.
Death Trooper 1: Or some chicken.
Axl: Chicken! Yum! I love chicken.
Amset Ra: Corona!