Curtis: Welcome to another thrilling edition of Not So Secret Intel. Today, we've discovered who the main villain is!... Although we could have looked at his interludes in the first six parts of this little story. Alrighty, his name is AntiMatter, and-
Audience: Thank you, Captain Obvious.
Curtis: You knew?
Audience: Yup. We read the story.
Curtis: Oh. With me today is Jack Fury, who will tell us how AntiMatter creates portals. Okay, Jack, you're going to text your speech to every phone in Astor City, so I hope your speech is 140 characters or less.
Jack: Okay! Blablablablabla-
Curtis: Now I will tell you how he creates portals. Read this to the tune of "This is the House that Jack Built."
Curtis: No. Ready?
This is the staff that AntiMatter made.
This is the lightning that came from the staff that AntiMatter made.
This is the villain that once was a civilian that fell in the portal that formed in the air that was zapped by the lightning that came from the staff that AntiMatter made.
Curtis: Let's see your message... Aha! I knew you liked Elves!
Jack: Just end the transmission already...