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Now, next up on your TV (get it), is a new battle in Round 2 of Season 3 of Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid!
Season 3, Round 2, Battle 5 (121st battle overall)
Written by Surtatb2007 on May 28, 2017
The Announcer

Kit Fisto
The Referee

Black Panther
The Predictor

Jack Fury
The Red Corner
Unikitty
Unikitty
She happily defeated Nadakhan, but couldn't save herself from the second-in-command.

Rank 28; 2-1
Nominated by Punctuation Penguin
The Green Corner
Tee-Vee
Tee-Vee
My dad joined Tee-Veeism, but the mighty Tee-Vee was slain by an alien threat from outer space.

Rank 1; 5-0
Nominated by Punctuation Penguin
The Yellow Corner
K-2SO
K-2SO
The rebellious droid put an end to Metalbeard only to lose to... the guy on the right...

Rank 24; 2-0
Nominated by Punctuation Penguin
The Blue Corner
Polka Dot Man
Polka Dot Man
Easily powering through a clanker, he ran into a swashbuckler along the way.

Rank 25; 2-0
Nominated by Punctuation Penguin

The Award Giver: Garbage Man Grant

Before the Battle

On television, which can't be called TV because the Priest of Tee-Vee would sue you...

Shadow: What good shows are on? The fashion channel? Polka dots? What stupid idiot created that?

Television Announcer: Now we bring to you the inventor of Polka Dots, Polka Dot Man.

Shadow: Bah! I can't listen to this garbage any more.

Garbage Man Grant: Time to take out the garbage. By golly, that's you!

---

Shadow: I will get my revenge...

The Battle

Kit Fisto: Welcome, viewers. My name is Kit Fisto and I will be your announcer today. Now my friend Garbage Man Grant has a few awards to give out.

Garbage Man Grant: The User of the Week Award goes to... NexoByte, for coming back in less than 7 months.

Kit Fisto: Now for the fighters. In the red corner, we have Unikitty.

Unikitty: Thank you, thank you!

Kit Fisto: In the green corner, we have the amazing, bureaucratic, etc. Tee-Vee!

Priest of Tee-Vee: You hath no style, green tentacle man!

Tee-Vee: Regardless, logic dictates I am going to win.

Kit Fisto: In my head, I'm just singing Hot Chelle Rae's Whatever. Anyways, in the blue corner, we have K-2SO.

K-2SO: I'm surprised I didn't get more of a warm welcome. From what I understand, I am a fan favorite.

Audience: TEE-VEE! TEE-VEE!

K-2SO: Oh, I guess not.

Kit Fisto: In the red corner, we have the fashion supermodel Polka Dot Man!

Polka Dot Man: I see that rusty hunk of metal I previously neat made it to round two. Fear no more! Polka Dot Man will save the day!

Priest of Tee-Vee: You have no respect for the almighty-

Polka Dot Man: No, I mean the rebel droid.

Jack Fury: I predict that Tee-Vee is going to win.

Priest of Tee-Vee: Finally, someone with common sense.

Black Panther: Fight!

In a garbage dump far, far, away...

Garbage Man Dan: Time to throw all of this garbage in the incinerator.

Shadow: Oh no...

Woody: I have some experience getting out of garbage incinerators.

Shadow: How do you do it?

Woody: Unless you have a giant walking piece of ham, you don't.

Shadow: CURSES!

Shadow is getting closer and closer to the pit of lava when the conveyer belt suddenly stops.

???: Ah, good. My gang will be proud of me for pulling this one off.

Shadow: Who are you?

???: My name is Tech. I'm a hacker and I'm part of the gang known as 'The Dead'. Who put you in here?

Shadow: Some guy named Garbage Man Grant.

Tech: I hear he's announcing at Amset Ra's Fighting Pyramid.

Shadow: Where are we?

Tech: At a garbage dump in Castillo, Mexico, just outside of Dorado.

Shadow: Well I'm going off to Amset Ra's Fighting Pyramid. To get my revenge.

Tech: I know a place in Castillo where you can get a ship.

Shadow: It's a done deal.

Back at Amset Ra's Fighting Pyramid...

Tee-Vee: Surrender now and spare yourself 99.99% of the pain of losing.

Unikitty: If I give up now, my TV ratings will go down! That would be the end of the world!

Tee-Vee: My rating of you is already very low.

Unikitty: I meant on television, you dummy!

Priest of Tee-Vee: Tee-Vee is no dummy!

Unikitty: Well it didn't know what a TV is!

Priest of Tee-Vee: Excuse me. I need to go sue the people that had the nerve to name their product TV.

Polka Dot Man: Red Polka Dots! Sneak attack!

Unikitty: That's unfair! You cheated! :(

Polka Dot Man: Life isn't fair, happy sparkly pink unicorn princess.

Unikitty: Hey! That isn't nice! :(

Kit Fisto: Polka Dot Man is trash-talking Unikitty.

PewPewPewPewPewPewPew!

Unikitty: Ouch!

K-2SO: You know, I really do like this blaster.

Polka Dot Man: Where did you get it?

K-2SO: At a 75% off sale at Brickmart.

Unikitty: Now I'm ANGRY KITTY. NO MORE SPARKLES, NO MORE FUN. I'M GONNA KILL YOU SO IF I WERE YOU I WOULD RUN.

Kit Fisto: Unikitty has gone Hulk on us and has transformed into Angry Kitty.

YazzizYazzizYazzizYazzizYazzizYazziz!

Tee-Vee: You know, you never should of let your guard down. My fiber optic lasers can cut through 72 meters of solid titanium.

Kit Fisto: Ouch! That must've hurt! Tee-Vee used its laser to cut through Unikittty. Hence forth, Unikitty has been eliminated.

Black Panther: I don't know...

ANGRY KITTY: IT'LL TAKE MORE THAN A LITTLE LASER TO STOP ME.

Kit Fisto: Never mind. I guess Unikitty is still okay.

ANGRY KITTY: I'M MORE THAN JUST OK. I'M GREAT. I'M MORE THAN GREAT! I'M GONNA KILL EVERYONE!

Polka Dot Man: Get your hands off me, you big, fat, unicorn!

ANGRY KITTY: You wish.

KA-POW! KA-BAM!

Dr. McScrubs: Out of the way, doctor coming through.

Dr. McScrubs enters the arena and feels for Polka Dot Man's pulse.

Dr. McScrubs: Fourth degree burns... That's not good.

Kit Fisto: After getting a few fourth degree burns from Angry Kitty's laser beam, the fashion sensation that's gripping the nation, the one, the only, Polka Dot Man has been eliminated.

Black Panther: I second that.

Harrod's Store Owner: Thank goodness. Every time I walk down his aisle I feel my eyes melting right off my face.

ANGRY KITTY: Who's next?

K-2SO: You.

PewPewPewPewPewPewPewPewPew!

YazzizYazzizYazzizYazzizYazzizYazziz!

KA-BAM! KA-POW!

Kit Fisto: After a combined barrage of attacks from Tee-Vee and K-2SO, Unikitty/Angry Kitty is lying on the ground.

Dr. McScrubs: She's unconscious, alright.

Black Panther: Unikitty has been eliminated.

Back in Castillo...

???: Ships! Best deal in all of Castillo and Dorado!

Shadow turns to see a woman dressed like a bird.

Shadow: I want to buy your ship. How much is it?

???: It's free if you take me and Tech with you.

Shadow: You know Tech?

Tech: Bird's an assassain. Me and her work together.

Shadow: Deal.

Bird: Here's the ship. It's an Eagle Intercepter. I call it the TALON.

Shadow: Garbage Man Grant, here I come.

Back at the ARFP...

Tee-Vee: The odds of you winning is one octillion to one.

K-2SO: As Cassian would say, never tell me the odds. However, telling me the evens would be appreciated.

Tee-Vee: Feel the wrath of me!

YazzizYazzizYazzizYazzizYazziz!

K-2SO: You missed your mark.

KA-BAM! KA-POW!

K-2SO: You missed your mark.

PewPewPewPewPewPew!

On board the TALON...

Tech: Here we are. The ARFP.

Shadow: Revenge is in the air. And it smells sweet.

Bird: No, I think that's the perfume I put on.

Shadow: Let's go find Garbage Man Grant.

---

Kit Fisto: After dodging Tee-Vee's attacks, K-2SO fired a few rounds into Tee-Vee's internal wiring, disabling Tee-Vee for the win.

Black Panther: I hereby declare Tee-Vee eliminated and K-2SO-

???: Sniper! Keep your heads down or lose it!

Bird: I have the Garbage Man in my sights, sir. Should I fire?

Shadow: Open fire.

Anubis Security Guard: Hands up! You're under arrest!

Shadow and Bird are arrested and put in two separate high-security sarcophaguses.

Black Panther: I hereby declare Tee-Vee eliminated and K-2SO the champion of this battle!

After the Battle

In a bar in Castillo...

Bird: ... And that is how me and Shadow escaped from prison.

Bartender: What do you have to say, Shadow?

Shadow: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And now that I am stronger, I shall finally get my revenge.

Later, at another table...

Unikitty: I like sparkles and rainbows!

Shadow: I like killing people and torturing people.

Unikitty: Well, I guess we all have our differences!

End Transmission.

The Winner
K-2SO
K-2SO
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See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.

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The poll was created at 03:31 on January 27, 2018, and so far 0 people voted.