Now, next up on your TV (get it), is a new battle in Round 2 of Season 3 of Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid!
The Announcer: Kit Fisto
The Referee: Black Panther
The Predictor: Jack Fury
The Award Giver: Garbage Man Grant
Before the Battle Edit
On television, which can't be called TV because the Priest of Tee-Vee would sue you...
Shadow: What good shows are on? The fashion channel? Polka dots? What stupid idiot created that?
Television Announcer: Now we bring to you the inventor of Polka Dots, Polka Dot Man.
Shadow: Bah! I can't listen to this garbage any more.
Garbage Man Grant: Time to take out the garbage. By golly, that's you!
Shadow: I will get my revenge...
The Battle Edit
Kit Fisto: Welcome, viewers. My name is Kit Fisto and I will be your announcer today. Now my friend Garbage Man Grant has a few awards to give out.
Garbage Man Grant: The User of the Week Award goes to... NexoByte, for coming back in less than 7 months.
Kit Fisto: Now for the fighters. In the red corner, we have Unikitty.
Unikitty: Thank you, thank you!
Kit Fisto: In the green corner, we have the amazing, bureaucratic, etc. Tee-Vee!
Priest of Tee-Vee: You hath no style, green tentacle man!
Tee-Vee: Regardless, logic dictates I am going to win.
Kit Fisto: In my head, I'm just singing Hot Chelle Rae's Whatever. Anyways, in the blue corner, we have K-2SO.
K-2SO: I'm surprised I didn't get more of a warm welcome. From what I understand, I am a fan favorite.
Audience: TEE-VEE! TEE-VEE!
K-2SO: Oh, I guess not.
Kit Fisto: In the red corner, we have the fashion supermodel Polka Dot Man!
Polka Dot Man: I see that rusty hunk of metal I previously neat made it to round two. Fear no more! Polka Dot Man will save the day!
Priest of Tee-Vee: You have no respect for the almighty-
Polka Dot Man: No, I mean the rebel droid.
Jack Fury: I predict that Tee-Vee is going to win.
Priest of Tee-Vee: Finally, someone with common sense.
Black Panther: Fight!
In a garbage dump far, far, away...
Garbage Man Dan: Time to throw all of this garbage in the incinerator.
Shadow: Oh no...
Woody: I have some experience getting out of garbage incinerators.
Shadow: How do you do it?
Woody: Unless you have a giant walking piece of ham, you don't.
Shadow is getting closer and closer to the pit of lava when the conveyer belt suddenly stops.
???: Ah, good. My gang will be proud of me for pulling this one off.
Shadow: Who are you?
???: My name is Tech. I'm a hacker and I'm part of the gang known as 'The Dead'. Who put you in here?
Shadow: Some guy named Garbage Man Grant.
Tech: I hear he's announcing at Amset Ra's Fighting Pyramid.
Shadow: Where are we?
Tech: At a garbage dump in Castillo, Mexico, just outside of Dorado.
Shadow: Well I'm going off to Amset Ra's Fighting Pyramid. To get my revenge.
Tech: I know a place in Castillo where you can get a ship.
Shadow: It's a done deal.
Back at Amset Ra's Fighting Pyramid...
Tee-Vee: Surrender now and spare yourself 99.99% of the pain of losing.
Unikitty: If I give up now, my TV ratings will go down! That would be the end of the world!
Tee-Vee: My rating of you is already very low.
Unikitty: I meant on television, you dummy!
Priest of Tee-Vee: Tee-Vee is no dummy!
Unikitty: Well it didn't know what a TV is!
Priest of Tee-Vee: Excuse me. I need to go sue the people that had the nerve to name their product TV.
Polka Dot Man: Red Polka Dots! Sneak attack!
Unikitty: That's unfair! You cheated! :(
Polka Dot Man: Life isn't fair, happy sparkly pink unicorn princess.
Unikitty: Hey! That isn't nice! :(
Kit Fisto: Polka Dot Man is trash-talking Unikitty.
K-2SO: You know, I really do like this blaster.
Polka Dot Man: Where did you get it?
K-2SO: At a 75% off sale at Brickmart.
Unikitty: Now I'm ANGRY KITTY. NO MORE SPARKLES, NO MORE FUN. I'M GONNA KILL YOU SO IF I WERE YOU I WOULD RUN.
Kit Fisto: Unikitty has gone Hulk on us and has transformed into Angry Kitty.
Tee-Vee: You know, you never should of let your guard down. My fiber optic lasers can cut through 72 meters of solid titanium.
Kit Fisto: Ouch! That must've hurt! Tee-Vee used its laser to cut through Unikittty. Hence forth, Unikitty has been eliminated.
Black Panther: I don't know...
ANGRY KITTY: IT'LL TAKE MORE THAN A LITTLE LASER TO STOP ME.
Kit Fisto: Never mind. I guess Unikitty is still okay.
ANGRY KITTY: I'M MORE THAN JUST OK. I'M GREAT. I'M MORE THAN GREAT! I'M GONNA KILL EVERYONE!
Polka Dot Man: Get your hands off me, you big, fat, unicorn!
ANGRY KITTY: You wish.
Dr. McScrubs: Out of the way, doctor coming through.
Dr. McScrubs enters the arena and feels for Polka Dot Man's pulse.
Dr. McScrubs: Fourth degree burns... That's not good.
Kit Fisto: After getting a few fourth degree burns from Angry Kitty's laser beam, the fashion sensation that's gripping the nation, the one, the only, Polka Dot Man has been eliminated.
Black Panther: I second that.
Harrod's Store Owner: Thank goodness. Every time I walk down his aisle I feel my eyes melting right off my face.
ANGRY KITTY: Who's next?
Kit Fisto: After a combined barrage of attacks from Tee-Vee and K-2SO, Unikitty/Angry Kitty is lying on the ground.
Dr. McScrubs: She's unconscious, alright.
Black Panther: Unikitty has been eliminated.
Back in Castillo...
???: Ships! Best deal in all of Castillo and Dorado!
Shadow turns to see a woman dressed like a bird.
Shadow: I want to buy your ship. How much is it?
???: It's free if you take me and Tech with you.
Shadow: You know Tech?
Tech: Bird's an assassain. Me and her work together.
Bird: Here's the ship. It's an Eagle Intercepter. I call it the TALON.
Shadow: Garbage Man Grant, here I come.
Back at the ARFP...
Tee-Vee: The odds of you winning is one octillion to one.
K-2SO: As Cassian would say, never tell me the odds. However, telling me the evens would be appreciated.
Tee-Vee: Feel the wrath of me!
K-2SO: You missed your mark.
K-2SO: You missed your mark.
On board the TALON...
Tech: Here we are. The ARFP.
Shadow: Revenge is in the air. And it smells sweet.
Bird: No, I think that's the perfume I put on.
Shadow: Let's go find Garbage Man Grant.
Kit Fisto: After dodging Tee-Vee's attacks, K-2SO fired a few rounds into Tee-Vee's internal wiring, disabling Tee-Vee for the win.
Black Panther: I hereby declare Tee-Vee eliminated and K-2SO-
???: Sniper! Keep your heads down or lose it!
Bird: I have the Garbage Man in my sights, sir. Should I fire?
Shadow: Open fire.
Anubis Security Guard: Hands up! You're under arrest!
Shadow and Bird are arrested and put in two separate high-security sarcophaguses.
Black Panther: I hereby declare Tee-Vee eliminated and K-2SO the champion of this battle!
After the Battle Edit
In a bar in Castillo...
Bird: ... And that is how me and Shadow escaped from prison.
Bartender: What do you have to say, Shadow?
Shadow: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And now that I am stronger, I shall finally get my revenge.
Later, at another table...
Unikitty: I like sparkles and rainbows!
Shadow: I like killing people and torturing people.
Unikitty: Well, I guess we all have our differences!