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This is the ninty-ninth battle in ARFP...
The Announcer: Wyldstyle
The Referee: Tee-Vee
The Predictor: Ogel
Before the Battle
Nadakhan is directing the setup of the hundredth battle party.
Nadakhan: *crack* Get yer backs into it, ye fools! Matey Amset-Ra wants this here party set up by sundown! *crack*
C-3PO: Oh dear... This is tyranny within the Pyramid Staff... And whipping a droid is not only discouraged in the 3PO owner's manual, but it doesn't hurt me!
Nadakhan: Argh!
Lord Business: The creativity! It BUURRRRRRNS!
Emmet: We're not being creative, Lord Business. We're just slaves of a weird pirate, that's all.
In Amset-Ra's office, Amset-Ra is on his computer, looking over his ARFP data.
Amset-Ra: Let's see... Ratings are down nine percent... We're $125,000 in debt... Not bad for a major fighting league... Oh! Here's an interesting comment by Commandosaur on the last battle: "This is the type of battle we need more of."
Back in the lobby...
Nadakhan: C'mon, fools, we ain't got all day! *crack*
Emmet: I wish he'd relent...
Nadakhan: Wish granted; yer three cents are in yer pocket.
Amset-Ra: Hey Naddy! Commandosaur wouldn't be happy if he saw that every intro was as stupid as this one! Put down the whip and pick up some banners!
Nadakhan: Fine... *grumble grumble*
Banana Suit Guy: Sup.
A Gorilla Suit Guy swoops down on a bungee cord and grabs him.
Banana Suit Guy: At least it's not Gorzan!
Amset-Ra: That's a wrap. Too much random stuff. On to the battle!
The Battle
Wyldstyle: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid! Wow, in only one battle, we will have had one hundred battles! Let's get down to it!
Audience: YEAH.
Wyldstyle: Iiiiiin the Red Corner, it's the result of one's imagination gone wild, the Bride of the House of Cloud Cuckoo, UNIKITTY!
Unikitty: I'm not that fancy, but thanks for the introduction anyway.
Wyldstyle: Iiiiiin the Green Corner, good or bad or bad or good? Would you like to meet her? Maybe you should! NAARE!
Naare: Laaaaaame.
Wyldstyle: Iiiiiin the Yellow Corner, this lawyer can only skewer you three times before putting you over an open- WHO WRITES THIS TRASH?!
Frenzy: I do!!!!! I'm Amset-Ra's new speech-writer! Which means I get to write the INTROS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wyldstyle: *facepalm*
Frenzy: Must. Have. That. HAIR!!!!!!!!!!
KLUNK!
Wyldstyle: Sorry, the door's locked. Ogel, make your prediction before we feed you to the crocs.
Ogel: Well, we've got the Beauty and the Beast for this fight- Actually, Two Beauties and the Beast- Er, the Beauty, the Not-So-Beauty, and the Beast.
Wonder Woman: How unprofessional.
She throws the Lasso of Truth around Ogel.
Ogel: ...I love you, Naare...
Amset-Ra: CORONA!
Ogel: I'll be baaaaaaa-
Ding!
Amset-Ra: I can see the headlines now: Ogel becomes the first human sheep to fly over the moon.
Audience: BOOOOOORING!
Amset-Ra: Fine! Just get this match underway!
Tee-Vee: Battle: start.
Naare: Construct!
Wyldstyle: You're... modifying your Eclipse Fighter?
Naare: Yes. Now it's more like an AT-AT!
Unikitty: That's not an AT-AT. This... is an AT-AT!
She unveils an AT-AT.
General Veers: Hey! That's mine!
Amset-Ra: GUYS! Commandosaur would freak out if he saw how lame this battle is getting!
Naare: Sorry.
The AT-ATs disappear.
Unikitty: Construct!
Wyldstyle: It's her famed electric rainbow!
Naare: Thanks for the warning.
BZZNNNN...
Audience: GASP!
Naare: ARGH! I just let the whole world know I'm a Sith!
Unikitty: Don't worry. We knew you were a Sith from the beginning. Did you know that there are still Jedi around?
Naare: Let's see... Obi-Wan, Yoda, don't need to get any farther.
Unikitty: Gotcha!
Naare: Wha-
CZXCZXCZXCZX
Naare: YAZIZIZIZIZIZIZIZ!
Wyldstyle: Now that was a great sneak attack by Unikitty and her electric rainbow! By the way, where's Triceratops?
Amset-Ra: He's coming. He'll be here in three minutes. Guys! Hurry this thing up and leave before you get trampled!
Unikitty: Ahem.
Naare: Neither one of us are considered "guys".
Amset-Ra: Sorry. It's kind of a thing.
Naare: Look! It's Bad Cop!
Unikitty: Where?
Force Shove!
Unikitty: Eeeeeek-
CRASH!
Naare: Gotcha.
Tee-Vee: Unikitty = Eliminated.
Naare: We'll, I guess I could kill some time while I wait for that Triceratops...
Insert boredom and classic passing-time scene here.
Rumble...
Naare: He's coming!
CRASH!
Naare: Hellooooooo dinner.
Wyldstyle: And Triceratops has entered the ring! But what's this? Unikitty is on his back!
Unikitty: Hello again, Naare? Ready to taste defeat?
Naare: I already have dinner planned, thank you.
Unikitty: At least try this as an appetizer!
CZXCZXCZXCZX
Naare: This feels familiar...
Triceratops: ROAR!
Crunch! Cam! Dash! Flex! Ogel!
Rumble...
Hop!
Tee-Vee: Winner = Unikitty.
Wyldstyle: That was amazing! Triceratops crushed Naare and ran out of the arena, but Uniktty jumped off his back! Unikitty! How does it feel to be the first minifigure to win more than one match since Toxikita?
Unikitty: I feel like a champion!
Wyldstyle: Great! See you next time for the one hundredth battle!
After the Battle
On the island of Okoto...
Tahu: Come on, fellow Toa! Unity is the key to beating Umarak!
Kopaka: Who's that weirdo?
Gali: That's Anuba from Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid.
Anuba: I'm the best Toa!
Umarak: I'll take all your Elemental Creatures off your hands for you... Oh, and you've got only five months to beat me before our theme retires... again.
Everyone but Umarak: FOR UNITY! FOR OKOTO!