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D'oh! This is gonna be the lamest battle yet!
Season 3, Round 1, Battle 21 (107th battle overall)
Written by Nexobyte on December 6, 2016
The Announcer

The Referee

Evil Robot
The Predictor

Captain Brickbeard
The Red Corner
His opponents will find that his screen is oh-so-mesmorizing...

Rank 2; 5-0
Nominated by Punctuation Penguin
The Green Corner

Nominated by
The Yellow Corner

Nominated by Punctuation Penguin
The Blue Corner
Homer Simpson
Homer Simpson
He may have a TV controller, but does he have a Tee-Vee controller?

Nominated by Punctuation Penguin

Before the Battle

Queen Hypogirtis is poring over some lawsuits.

Alien Queen: Hmph. So Pharaoh Hotep has some nerve, thinking he can file a lawsuit against me, the Queen of Mars. All I did was inject myself with one of the earthling's precious jewels, and he suddenly behaves like a lunatic. What a wimp.

Hovok: Your Majesty, there is someone to see you.

Alien Queen: Oh good! It must be my blind date! Love first, lawsuits later!

The door opens and see feats her eyes on the manly sight of...

Alien Queen: Ahh, Crystal King, I have always been fascinated by foreign royalty. Please, do come in.

He does.

Hovok:"' I'll give you two some space.

Alien Queen: I rule all the space I ever wanted. But yes, you may leave.

He does.

Hyvak: What's up with the Queen?

Hovok: She's dating a Rock Monster.

Hyvak: Oh please, not one of those horrible Rock Raiders ones!

Hovok: No, no, it's the Crystal King.

Hyvak: That's better. But soon this place may be crawling with Rock Monsters!

Hovok: It already is. That one Meltrox from "Martian Madness" has multiplied quickly.

Meltrox: Melt Melt trox!

Hovok: Run!!!

The Battle

Wyldstyle: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid, blah blah blah. Tee-Vee and *gulp* Homer Simpson are the competitors. Brickbeard will predict the winner after the battle. Fight!

Captain Brickbeard: Hey, that be not like ye at all. Are ye sure ye're not Lord Vampyre or Camille in disguise?

Wyldstyle: Oh! Uh, what gave you that idea?

Captain Brickbeard: A little birdie told me.

Wyldstyle: Named?

Captain Brickbeard: Fluminox.

Fluminox: The Phoenix king has reason to believe that Wyldstyle is an impostor.

Wyldstyle: I am not!

'Her wig falls off.

Camille: Uh... gotta go!

She flees with Anubis Guards hot on her heels.

Captain Brickbeard: Be there an announcer around here?

Invizable: Allow me.

He sits in the announcer's booth.

Grandma: What a gentleman.

Grandpa: That's no gentleman! He looks just like all the other punk rockers!

Grandma Visitor: But Grandpa, he doesn't have any mohawk hair.

Invizable: In the ROCKIN' Red Corner, the awesome-but-not-as-awesome-as-me Tee-Vee!


Priest of the Tee-Vee: I rigged the announcer's booth so if the announcer blasphemed Tee-Vee he would get ejected.

Invizable: Fail! I glued the seat to the floor when I found out there was an ejector seat. My chair never left the booth. You lose! Ahahahaha!

Priest of the Tee-Vee: And I'm never laughed at...

Invizable: In the STORMIN' Blue Corner- oh come on! Don't tell me he's here.

Homer rushes into the stadium.

Homer: I'm here! Sorry I'm late!

Invizable: I asked you not to tell me that! Go ahead and predict, Captain.

Captain Brickbeard: Obviously Tee-Vee be my choice, because although Homer Simpson has a remote control, it be practically worthless compared to Tee-Vee's tech.

Homer: WHAT?

Priest of the Tee-Vee: You heard him, Homer.

Invizable: And now, I'll ask our Evil Robot to start us off.

Evil Robot: Start match or be annihilated.

Homer: Well, one of of us is gonna get annihilated anyway. Pause Button!



Tee-Vee: Remote control = No effect.

Bart Simpson: Dad! That's your normal TV controller, not your Tee-Vee controller!

Homer: D'oh!

Tee-Vee: Initiating Zealous Zinger.

Pewpewpewpew! Fry!

Evil Robot: Homer Simpson has been annihilated.

Invizable: A mkistake made this match the fastest one in history! Let's make this battle page short! End transmission!

After the Battle

Amset-Ra: Hey you, author! You honestly didn't think you were going to get away with a battle without me, now were you?

It's been done before. See Toxikita vs. Nya.

Amset-Ra: Anyway, this battle is still only the seventeenth shortest match, so here's to a pointless ending!

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See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.

How much did you enjoy Tee-Vee vs. Homer Simpson?

The poll was created at 03:21 on January 27, 2018, and so far 0 people voted.