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This is the 9th battle of Season 2, and the second in which the most holy of all beings will compete.
Season 2, Round 1, Battle 9 (53rd battle overall)
Written by Commandosaur on September 5, 2015
The Announcer

Well now, we wouldn't want to spoil that, would we?
The Referee

What makes you think this position is any different?
The Predictor

The Alpha Team, Axel and Indominus Rex
The Red Corner

Rank 16; 1-0
Nominated by Surtatb2007
The Green Corner
General Crokenburg

Nominated by ArcticSeahorse
The Yellow Corner
Be he victorious, or be he not?

Unranked; 0-1
Nominated by Surtatb2007
The Blue Corner
Curses! He escaped again!

Unranked; 0-1
Nominated by NexoByte

Before the Battle

In a dark lair of evil and mysteriousness and darkness and lots of really ominous stuff...

???1: We must not lose this battle.

???2: Yes... Our kind has been segregated and diminished for far too long...

???3: Today will be the end of that. Today, we will be risen, and we will avenge our fallen brethren.

???1: No... YOU will rise today. Take with you this, the most powerful of our many weapons.

???3: I will do as you say, and take this weapon with me as I do battle in the pyramid of fighting.

???1: It's called the Oorama Bala.

???3: I know that... I just thought we weren't saying names.

???1: Oh, okay. Now back to our dark and ominous voices.

???3: Yes... Yes... Evil... Chocolate...

???2: Wonderful... The Oorama Bala is specifically designed so that you may stop our most asymmetrical enemy, He Who Must Always Be Named With Many Words...

???1: He has held his place for far too long...



Wyldstyle: Amset-Ra is not going to be happy to hear about this.

Frenzy: Actually, he probably already heard it with all of that crashing and BANGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frenzy runs off...

Queen Hypogirtis: You will be hearing from my lawyer, who happens to be me. Which means that you will be hearing from me. And you don't want to hear from me.

Wyldstyle: Oh no, no, I, I wouldn't want to hear from you, nope...

A little later...

Amset-Ra: Were any of you thinking about the consequences of your actions? ANY of you?

Terabyte: Technically, I didn't do anything wrong, I was just-

Amset-Ra: The Queen is going to sue me!

Pythor: I'm sssssssssure that ssssssshe will be forgiving...

Amset-Ra: You stole her mothership and crashed it into her suite at the Fighting Pyramid! That's non-forgivable!

Sir Pondar: It seems that whenever we talk about the GLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORIOUS ETX Alien Mothership, it has been stolen again.

Terabyte: As I was trying to say before, I didn't technically steal it, I just borrowed it. I was bored!

Invizable: All that I did was play the music. And man, was it good! 90's Hip Hop and Lorde Business.

Amset-Ra: Who was the one that crashed the mothership?

Everyone looks at Ronin intensely.

Ronin: It wasn't me.

Everyone looks at Ronin more intensely.

Ronin: I'm serrrrrrrrrrious, it wasn't me!

Everyone takes a step closer and stares at Ronin with vigorous intensity.

Ronin: Rrrrrrrrrealy guys, I didn't do anything! I was just flying, and then the pyramid got in the way! That never happened with the Ronin R.E.X.

Terabyte: The Ronin R.E.X. only runs on Auto-Pilot.

Dr. Inferno: Should've let me drive.

Amset-Ra: You're all in detention.

Terabyte: Ooh! I love detention!

Several minutes later, in Amset-Ra's office...

Amset-Ra: Hmm... So, I still have Grundal, Wyldstyle, Frenzy and Scarab... I could call the Fierce Flame, and then we'd have 4. But after that...


Anubis Guard: Lord Amset, there is someone on holo-line 3.

Amset-Ra: Ugh. It's probably more spam.

Amset-Ra opens holo-line 3.

???: Hello, Mr. Ra.

Amset-Ra: If you're trying to sell me another limited edition Khopesh, I'm not buying it. I already bought them from the last 20 scammers, but not again! I have too many limited edition items!

???: That's not what I'm talking to you about today.

Amset-Ra: I don't want any pyramid cleaning service either. Ogel's doing a fine job with that.

???: Mr. Ra, I am the Commander of the Space Police. I don't want to clean your pyramid.

Amset-Ra: Huh?! What?! I wasn't aiming at the Space Police station, you know!

Space Police Commander: What? You know what, nevermind. You have too many problems to deal with right now even without bringing up old bygones.

Amset-Ra: What problems?

Space Police Commander: Due to Queen Hypogirtis's formal complaint about your pyramid, we've decided to do some investigation.

Amset-Ra: She's not going to sue!?

Space Police Commander: Let's take a look at what we found. 1. You and your staff have a history of insulting and harassing minifigures by calling them names and occasionally throwing them into jail cells or killing them with your magical corona.

Amset-Ra: They were all totally deserving of it!

Space Police Commander: That's debatable. 2. Your pyramid encourages violence, death and comedy, three things which were banished in the Chima Act but reinstated during the Garmadon Act. Not to mention, your pyramid seems to have a significant bias towards evil-doers.

Amset-Ra: Your Space Police has a bias against them!

Space Police Commander: A bias which is allowed under the Criminality Act, which also prevented anyone from hiring criminals, which you have done. 3. You haven't payed your insurance, or anything, in a long time.

Amset-Ra: We're in debt.

Space Police Commander: No wonder. 4. Despite continuous infection, you continue to allow the Grundalychus to spread Grundalitis.

Amset-Ra: We have vaccinations!

Space Police Commander: Except not anymore, because... 5. Your cafeteria has questionable practices. Questionably ethical but unquestionably unsafe.

Amset-Ra: Well it's been nice talking to you but I have to go now-

Space Police Commander: Not so fast. We are currently taking the Grundal in for questioning, and shutting down your cafeteria. As part of a settlement with Queen Hypogirtis, we have placed the tournament in her capable hands until you have made it through some rehabilitation.


Amset-Ra: I'm doomed...


Space Police Officer: You're coming with us, Mr. Grundal.

Grundalychus: It's beginning... to look... a lot... like the-end...

The Battle

Wyldstyle: Welcome to Queen Hypogirtis's Mount Olympus Minifigure Tournament on Mars!

Emmet: I forgot my spacesuit!!!!!!!!!!!

Wyldstyle: Don't worry, everyone who matters will survive.

Terabyte: I'm back! All done with detention, unfortunately.

Wyldstyle: Yes, yes, well, let's get on with the battle, what do you think?


Priest of the Tee-Vee: Our favourite fighter will be out shortly.

Audience: TEE-VEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wyldstyle: In the meantime, let's have the awards!

Queen Hypogirtis: The Award for most Tremendous, most Enlightened, most Extravagant, most Verified, most Equal, and most Energetic minifigure goes to Tee-Vee!!!!!!!!!


Wyldstyle: I have never heard them that excited before.

Queen Hypogirtis: The User of the Week award goes to Surtatb2007, who nominated Tee-Vee!


Wyldstyle: I must admit, Your Hyness, I have never heard you this excited before.

Queen Hypogirtis: The excitement of the battle is getting to me.

Wyldstyle: Well, don't use up all of your excitement now, because we're about to see Tee-Vee in the Red Corner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Terabyte: All of the corners are red...

Queen Hypogirtis: Not to the trained eye of one who has lived on the red planet. If you look very closely, you can see the difference in colour. That one is burgundy, that one is scarlet, that one is mahogany and that one is crimson.

Terabyte: I'll go fix my optical receptors...

Wyldstyle: Well, now it's time to welcome TEE-VEE in the BURGUNDY CORNER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tee-Vee: Boot speech_1.mp3. I am honoured to be here with my new voice processor.

Audience: TEE-VEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tee-Vee: Excitement Level = <10 000

Terabyte: Tee-Vee, can I have your autograph?

Fierce Flame: Can I have your autograph too?

Emmet: Gasp... I can't breathe... Please... Help...

Squidman: Tee-Vee, give me your autograph first!

Dollar Bill: I'll pay you $30 for an autograph!

Alien: Tee-Vee, can I have your autograph?

Kai: Autograph please!

Sea-Tron Alien: Since I'm older than you, I should get your autograph, right?

Alpha Draconis: You don't exist. Give me your autograph, Tee-Vee!

Laval: I'm awesome! Really, really awesome! Give me your autograph!

Lloyd: I'm more awesome, so shouldn't I get your autograph?



Frenzy: Can I have your HOUSE? Or we could share the house! I could be Fren-Zee and you could be Tee-Vee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Skales: He already is Tee-Vee.

Queen Hypogirtis: All of you be quiet.

Terabyte: Why?

Queen Hypogirtis: It's my arena, so I get Tee-Vee's autograph.

Priest of the Tee-Vee: None of you are getting his autograph.

Wyldstyle: Why not?

Priest of the Tee-Vee: Because I'm going to get it first!

Tee-Vee: Boot print_autograph.exe (3 000 000 000 000)

Frenzy: AUTOGRAPHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wyldstyle: Ah, wonderful! I'll take a few of these. Now, back to the battle. That's taking place on Mars.

Queen Hypogirtis: This is a wonderful arena. It has many interesting nooks and crannies for hiding.

Wyldstyle: In the Scarlet Corner is Crokenburg the Croc General.

Crokenburg: Can I have a copy of Tee-Vee's autograph?

Wyldstyle: Sorry, they're all gone. In the Mahogany Corner is Clouse!

Clouse: Give me your Autograph, Clouse!

Wyldstyle: You mean Tee-Vee, right?

Clouse: Mean I Tee-Vee, or mean I not? Yes, indeed I do mean Tee-Vee.

Wyldstyle: And now for the Crimson Corner with Ogel!

Ogel: Ah! The sun! It blinds!

Wyldstyle: You don't want one of Tee-Vee's autographs?

Ogel: No...

Wyldstyle: Well, while Crokenburg and Clouse search for one of Tee-Vee's autographs-

Crokenburg: NOT... ANY... MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wyldstyle: Oh, looks like Crokenburg found one. Now, let's hear the predictions.

Dash: Tee-Vee!

Cam: Tee-Vee!

Charge: Tee-Vee!

Radia: Tee-Vee!

Flex: Tee-Vee!

Crunch: Tee-Vee!

Axel: Tee-Vee!

Indominus Rex: I don't think there's anything else to say but Tee-Vee!

Wyldstyle: If that's how you all feel about it, then let the battle begin!


Tee-Vee: Boot victory_plan.exe.

Audience: Go Tee-Vee!

Clouse: Yes, thank you! I will be the victor!

Crokenburg: Wonderful! A hiding place!

Crokenburg dives behind a rock.

Tee-Vee: Boot laser.jpg

A picture of a laser appears on Tee-Vee's screen.

Terabyte: Hah! I think he used the wrong file extension!

Priest of the Tee-Vee: HE does not make mistakes, young padawan.


Wyldstyle: Woh! Something big is coming towards us!

Terabyte: My archives show that we are being approached by a Laser!

Priest of the Tee-Vee: What the audacious, blooming, climbing, dexterous, exotic, forgiving, etc. Tee-Vee knows that you do not is that within that image of a laser, there is a secret coded message which, when received by a satellite in orbit, will signal a laser to be fired.


Wyldstyle: Well, I'll admit, I thought it was going to be worse than that.

Ogel: Gah! My visor has amplified the strength of the laser and blinded me!

Wyldstyle: How do you know that?

Ogel: It says so on my visor-screen!

Wyldstyle: I thought you were blind...

Ogel: You're ruining my plan to get sympathy!

Audience: BOO OGEL!!!!!!!!!!

Clouse: What? What have I done to deserve your disdain?

Crokenburg: This is the best hiding spot ever! No one's found me yet!

Tee-Vee: Initiate X-Ray vision...

Crokenburg: Initiate escape plan!

Tee-Vee: Targets located. Boot precise_missiles.exe

Clouse: Oh no! Ogel is going to kill me!

Ogel: Yes! Fear me!

Terabyte: He's looking at Tee-Vee, Ogel.

Ogel: Oh...


Fierce Flame: Clouse is eliminated!

Wyldstyle: Tee-Vee eliminated one of his opponents!

Audience: TEE-VEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ogel: You won't take me down, because I have-

Tee-Vee: Target 2 = Ogel

Ogel: You can try, but you can not succeed, because as I was saying-

Priest of the Tee-Vee: How DARE you defy the holiest being!

Ogel: Oh, I dare... For I have this!

Priest of the Tee-Vee: GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not the dreaded Oorama Bala

Terabyte: No... It can't be...

Ogel: I mean, I don't know how it works, but I have it, for whatever that's worth.

Crokenburg: You obviously stole that from me, because I had the Oorama Bala, except not... any... more...

Ogel: How would you know?

Crokenburg: I vividly remember being in a dark room and plotting my victory with Cragger and Crooler just before this battle.

Ogel: Oh. Well, do you mind if I use it?

Crokenburg: Ah, sure, it gets the same result anyways.

Ogel: Great!

Crokenburg: Not... any... more!!!!


Fierce Flame: Ogel is eliminated!

Wyldstyle: Wow, talk about betrayal! Crokenburg just swatted Ogel into a cliff wall with his firedent!

Crokenburg: All to protect Tee-Vee, of course.

Tee-Vee: Lie detected. Initiating Final Protocol. Boot in_case_of_oorama_bala.exe


Terabyte: And not one vowel!

Fierce Flame: Crokenburg is broken! And he's out.

Audience: TEE-VEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wyldstyle: Tee-Vee is our winner! Enjoy the flowing laurels of victory!

Queen Hypogirtis: Well that was rather boring. Go back to Amset-Ra's pyramid, I don't want you destroying Mars.

Ogel: Not Amset-Ra!

Terabyte: He's still in therapy

Wyldstyle: Until next time, GO TEE-VEE!.

30 Years in the Future...

Hee-Tee: And so that was the day that Tee-Vee defeated the forces of evil again, and the tradition of naming minifigures in the same way as Tee-Vee began!

30 Years in the Past from the Future (In other words, After the Battle)

Dr. Brains: Next question: Who was the first minifigure to walk on the moon?

Ronin: An Astrrrrrrronaut?

Dr. Brains: Congratulations, Ronin! Only 307 more correct responses to go before you get out of detention!

Meanwhile, in Amset-Ra's Psychiatrist's officer...

Dr. Cyber: What do you think you should do if there is an evil minifigure and a good minifigure fighting?

Amset-Ra: Kill them both so neither of them can threaten me?

Dr. Cyber: We have a lot of work to do.

End Transmission

The Winner
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See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.

How much did you enjoy Tee-Vee vs. General Crokenburg vs. Clouse vs. Ogel?

The poll was created at 02:59 on September 12, 2015, and so far 0 people voted.