MWAHAHAHAHAHA! My newest form of punishment is supremely evil! Enjoy!
The Announcer: Pippin Reed
The Referee: Sue Montana
The Predictors: The Fierce Flame, Pythor, Invizable
Before the Battle Edit
In Amset-Ra's office...
Dr. Inferno: Mwahahahaha!
Wyldstyle: What was that for?!
Amset-Ra: His laugh was too maniacal for its own good.
Dr. Rodney Rathbone: Do I detect a hint of jealousy, young chap?
Amset-Ra: Gyah! What do you mean?
Wyldstyle: Better yet, what are you doing here?!
Dr. Rodney Rathbone: Oh, I'm just looking for a moonstone.
Amset-Ra: I'm not jealous! There is no possible universe in which Dr. Inferno can be more villainous than I!
Wyldstyle: Why would there be a moonstone in here?
Dr. Rodney Rathbone: I received a hint from a green-skinned, four-armed alien. He said it should be purple and black... Good Lord, you've got it!
Dr. Rathbone tackles Wyldstyle and tries to steal her hair.
Amset-Ra: I'll show that pesky Dr. Inferno that nothing he does will ever be as villainous as what I have done and will still do!
Wyldstyle: Curse you, Frenzy!
Dr. Rodney Rathbone: This is the softest moonstone I've ever felt!
Amset-Ra: Wyldstyle, that's a wonderful idea! Mwahahahahahahaha!
The Battle Edit
Pippin Reed: Heeeeeeeeeell-ooooo everybody! Welcome to Amset-Ra's fighting pyramid, where we make a point of destroying our competition with insults, injuries, and incantations!
Audience: Hip-hip hooray!
Pippin Reed: No, no, no, that's not like we rehearsed. It goes "Pip-pip hooray!" Pip, with a P. P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p!
Audience: Pip-pip hooray!
Pippin Reed: That's the way to cheer it! Today, a very special battle will be taking place, in a never-before-seen format. We've brought back some fan-favourite fighters and some quick-to-quarrel combatants, and paired them up for what is set to be a dramatic death match! Now, to reveal our teams and explain our rules, we have our guest referee, Sue Montana!
Audience: Pip-pip hooray!
Sue Montana: Thank you, thank you! We have repainted the stadium today. On the red side will be two contestants from one team, and on the blue side will be two contestants from the opposite team. Once both members of a team have been eliminated, the opposing team will be declared victorious.
Amset-Ra: Even if one of their team members is already dead! How evil is that, Dr. Inferno?
Dr. Brains: I'm sure that he can tell you once we've finished reconstructing his body from the molecular level. That corona is extremely effective.
Sue Montana: First up on the red team is everyone's favourite Martian matriarch, Queen Hypothesis of the Phobans!
A gate slides open and the Queen enters.
Alien Queen: Hypogirtis, you ignorant fool. How would you appreciate it if I began to mispronounce your dinosaur names, Tri-carrot-tops fan?
Sue Montana: You and I will finish this later, MARShmallow Maniac. Joining the Queen on the red side of the arena is one of her own minions, though she may not want to take credit for them. Alien!
A small hatch opens in the side of the arena, revealing a slide. The Alien pops out.
Alien Queen: I want my mothership...
Alien Queen: ...some AdvilRightsUnreserved...
Alien Queen: ...and could someone please inform this embarrassment that he looks idiotic sitting on the ground and squealing like that?
A thud is heard from the blue side of the arena.
Sue Montana: Meanwhile, on the blue side of the arena, please welcome Wyldstyle, with her hair!
Wyldstyle struts in through an open gate.
Wyldstyle: Why wouldn't I have it?
A hatch opens on the blue side of the pyramid and a green alien with four arms falls out.
Frenzy: I believe that I can now say with NO incorrectitude that I jumped into the slide too earlyish. Ouchy.
Wyldstyle: Curses be upon you, Amset-Ra!
Amset-Ra: Ye-hahahahahaha! How else would I still be alive?!
Pippin Reed: Let's go to the Panel of Prediction for some insight into this match! Fierce Flame, who do you think will win?
Fierce Flame: My money's on Team Wyldzy. They have more experience and more success in the fighting pyramid, and a more varied skill set.
Pippin Reed: Interesting. Pythor, you're good with numberssssssss. Give ussssss your take on thisssssss sssssssituation.
Pythor: Very hilariousssssss. I musssssst confessssssss that I adore your mockery; it bringssssss ssssssssuch joy to my heart.
Pippin Reed: Well, that still doesn't answer the quesssssssstion.
Pythor: It sssssssseemsssss inevitable that desssssssspite Team M.A.R.S.'sssssss apparent sssssstrength in the department of reinforcccccccementsssssss, Team Wyldzy will find a way to crusssssssssh them.
Pippin Reed: Well, not that it matters, but what's your guess, Invizable?
Invizable: Team M.A.R.S.
Pippin Reed: Is it possible that you're just saying that because Wyldstyle stole your job and made you irrelevant?
Invizable: I WAS THE CHAMPION OF SEASON ONE.
Invizable: I mean no, not possible.
Pippin Reed: Alright. In that case, I believe that it is time for our battle to commence.
Sue Montana: Fighters ready, and fight!
Alien Queen: (Into radio) Havek, get over here and bring the armada! We have a victory to achieve!
Havek: (Over radio) Where, exactly, would you like us to come?
Alien Queen: (Into radio) The -
Alien Queen: (Into radio) Fighting Pyramid.
Static and no response.
Pippin Reed: Wyldstyle managed to build a signal-blocking device to intercept the Queen's requests for help!
Wyldstyle: All in a good day's - wait, what do you mean by managed?!
Pippin Reed: And Frenzy decorated the signal-blocker with flowers and milk advertisements...
Frenzy: You mean FORTIFIED!
Alien Queen: Alright, drone... Go destroy that signal-blocking device!
Alien: Yes ma'am! Construct!
Pippin Reed: Team M.A.R.S. has built a... dog leash?
???: Woof, woof!
Pippin Reed: Oh, and also an invisible dog.
Alien: Let's go, Rover!
Astronaut: I thought it was a dog?
Alien: It's a dog, with the name of Rover!
Astronaut: How did you train it to respond to its name so quickly?
Alien: That is none of the audience's concern!
Wyldstyle: Back off, Alien! This signal-blocking device isn't going anywhere!
Alien: Oh really?
Rover: Woof woof?
Alien: Rover, don't woof! It gives away your position!
Wyldstyle: Oh, I thought that was what the leash was for?
Alien: This leash? This isn't Rover's leash. And come to think of it, that wasn't even Rover's bark.
Pippin Reed: While the Alien distracted Wyldstyle with an unused leash and a recording of a dog's bark, Rover snuck behind Wyldstyle before tackling her to the ground!
Alien begins dashing towards the signal-blocking device.
Alien: I'm free!
Wyldstyle: See, I learned a few things from ol' Indy a couple years back, and I definitely remember how to grab an alien's ankle with a whip. No Martian's getting their hands on that signal-blocker!
Alien Queen: Frenzy, let me through.
Wyldstyle: I'M GOING TO DISEMBOWEL YOUR LIVER, YOU ROTTEN GREEN-SKINNED ALIEN!
Frenzy: Well I'll disembowel your FLAGELLUM!
Pippin Reed: In a somewhat expected-by-now turn of events, the signal-blocker exploded when Queen Hypoallergenic grew too close.
Frenzy: And YOU called them DECORATIONS!
Alien Queen: *cough* This is only a hard-earned victory. (Into radio) Havek, can you hear me now?
Frenzy: You wanna play "Invisible Dog"? Let's play INVISIBLE SIGNAL BLOCKER!
Pippin Reed: Somehow, Frenzy managed to build an invisible signal blocker while Wyldstyle and the Alien were fighting, yet no one noticed!
Rover: Woof, woof!
Alien: That's right, Rover... You go get 'em!
Alien Queen: Gyah!
Alien: Wrong one! Wrong one!
Pippin Reed: It appears that Rover is not only invisible, but also blind!
Dr. Brain: Well of course he is, that's a prerequisite of conventional metamaterial-based invisibility, unless -
Merlok 2.0: Logic... shall not pass!
Frenzy: So what's our plan now?
Wyldstyle: First, we -
Wyldstyle: GIVE BACK MY HAT.
Pippin Reed: Well, that brought an end to the Wyldstyle-Frenzy alliance.
Alien Queen: Now is our chance, drone! Do something!
3 Minutes of Frenzy being chased and the Alien saying "Uh..." later...
The Alien suddenly forgets his idea.
A gust of wind is blown into the arena by Achu's sneeze.
The gust of wind causes Frenzy to lose his balance and trip.
Wyldstyle manages to retrieve her hair from the fallen Frenzy.
Alien Queen: Ah-ouch!
The Alien Queen, pacing in circles, bumps into an invisible object.
Alien Queen: Well, well, well... I suppose that this must be the real signal-blocker!
Pippin Reed: After several repetitive minutes and a series of serendipitous events, the Alien Queen discovered the invisible signal-blocking device and destroyed it using a giant, fancy, and ominous hammer.
Alien Queen: (Into radio) Havek, bring the armada to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid immediately!
Havek: (Over radio) Roger that, milady. We're three minutes out.
Frenzy: The speed is remarkable!
Wyldstyle: Alright, Frenzy - I hate to admit it, but we need to work together here and take out these hooligans before their armada arrives.
Frenzy: You can bet good money on that! Especially if you give me the money!
Squidman: I believe in you, Frenzy!
Alien: Help, Queen Hypogiritis! What are we gonna do!?
Alien Queen: We'll start by pronouncing my name correctly. Then, we'll go about calmly and orderly and destroy this crazy scum.
Wyldstyle: Sometimes we all need a little chaos...
Alien Queen: Not by the stones of my chinny chin chin!
Amset-Ra: That was a 5,000 year old marbleised granite counter!
Alien Queen: I'm a 90,000 year old unstoppable monarch alien. Watch me care.
Frenzy: I'm FRENZY! Spinjitzu!
Pippin Reed: This is something we haven't seen as often as expected in the course of the fighting pyramid's three seasons! Who knew that Frenzy could perform Spinjitzu - and perform it so well!
Squidman: Wyldstyle, give these to Frenzy!
Wyldstyle: I'm a bit preoccupied!
Pippin Reed: While Wyldstyle, armed with her martial arts and black katana, battles the Alien Queen and her incredibly powerful hammer, Squidman is standing on the sidelines with a mysterious bag which he wishes to give to Frenzy. What could be in this bag? Why must Frenzy, spinning crazily with his ninja powers, have its contents?
Alien: I'll take that!
Squidman: No! You thief!
Alien: My surface isn't that reflective.
Pippin Reed: You know what they say - green sky, look out for tornadoes! But what happens when you've got a green tornado? Well, make like this Alien and RUN!
Frenzy: IiIiIiI'mMmMmMmMmM cOmInNnNnNnNnG fOoOoOoOoOoOoR yOoOoOoOoOoOoU!
Pippin Reed: Well, the Alien was over-run, and it appears that the bag was stolen by Frenzy, who has now taken on a golden hue!
Frenzy snaps out of his spinjitzu, and is revealed to be holding all four of the Golden Weapons of Spinjitzu! However, the bag which he had stolen them from is now placed over top of his head.
Frenzy: Your darkness can't defeat me! I'll use my senses and -
Wyldstyle throws her katana to slice the bag off of Frenzy's head.
Frenzy: That's right! I can seeeeeeeeeeee the light!
Alien Queen: I've got you now, pesky human!
Pippin Reed: Wyldstyle narrowly dodges yet another attack from the Alien Queen, but without her weapon, defeat seems inevitable!
Wyldstyle: Frenzy, I've got the drone, you take Hyper-girt-elves!
Alien: No no no... This is all so bad!
Alien Queen: Try what you want, crazy criminal!
Slash! Swish! Swagger! Smash!
Alien: No no no...
Wyldstyle: See you on Mars, Alien!
Alien: You're not invited!
Sue Montana: The Red Side is eliminated! Team Wyldzy wins!
Pippin Reed: Frenzy's barbaric barrage managed to overpower the Alien Queen, whose own hammer was slammed into her scalp. Meanwhile, Wyldstyle threw the Alien out of the arena.
Emmet: She's so strong... Yikes!
Audience: Pip-pip hooray!
Amset-Ra: Mwahahahahahahahahaha! Now that was evil!
Wyldstyle: Lord Ra?
Wyldstyle: I am never working with that psychiatric patient again.
Frenzy: I don't even GO to the doctor!
After the Battle Edit
In Amset-Ra's office...
Amset-Ra: Oh, this was so much fun! We should do this again. Maybe next time it'll be Team Wyldzy vs. Team Fernie!
Wyldstyle: One, that's not how team names are made, and two, Never. Again. Will. I. Do. This.
Amset-Ra: Oh, you just wait and see!