This battle needs to be optimized to meet the current standards.
This is indeed a battle. What came first: the battle or the fighters? Hmmmm...
The Announcer: Tee-Vee
The Referee: Tee-Vee
The Predictor: I'll give you three guesses.
Before the Battle, or, I Dream of NadakhanEdit
Amset-Ra enters his office to see a magic lamp sitting on his desk.
Amset-Ra: Oh, for the love of bricks, I hope I'm not going to relive the Aladdin adventure...
He rubs the lamp and Nadakhan emerges.
Nadakhan: I be grantin' ye three wishes, landlubber! What'll it be, matey?
Amset-Ra: First, I wish for gold-
Nadakhan: Ye wish for mold? Okay! Wish granted!
Amset-Ra: I said gold, not mold. Next, I wish for-
Amset-Ra: No, I did not wish for eek.
Chef Eclair and Axl emerge from the café.
Chef Eclair: Is terrible! Ze bread, it has turned into mold! And no one like ze moldy loaf!
Amset-Ra: Shame on you, Nadakhan. Axl, Brawn, whoever you are, what are you doing back here?
Axl: I couldn't resist your café.
Amset-Ra: That's because it's enchanted. Now leave.
He and Chef Eclair leave.
Nadakhan: What do ye wish for next, matey?
Amset-Ra: I wish that Ogel would stay in prison forever.
Nadakhan: Wish granted!
Amset-Ra: And finally, I wish for-
Amset-Ra: What this time?
Olivia (from Friends) enters.
Olivia: I was soaking in your hot tub, when suddenly, this black helmeted metal creep appeared in the tub with me!
Nadakhan: What? Ye only asked that Ogel bathe with Olivia together!
Amset-Ra: I said no such thing! (turning to Olivia) CORONA!
Olivia: I'm calling the coooooooooooops...
Amset-Ra: My hot tub is strictly off limits. And Heartlake City doesn't have police.
Nadakhan: What be yer third wish?
Amset-Ra: I wish for two more wishes.
??? 1: Double, double, toil and trouble!
??? 2: Right in the middle of an experiment, too!
Amset-Ra: I SAID WISHES, NOT WITCHES!!!
Nadakhan: Sorry, I be a bit hard of hearing in one ear.
Amset-Ra: At least pay attention!
Nadakhan: I be a Djinn. It be my nature to twist wishes.
The Genie Girl appears and blinks.
Witch 1: Ow!
Witch 2: You're twisting my torso the wrong way!
Nadakhan: I SAID WISHES, NOT WITCHES!!!
The Genie Girl laughs and blinks herself away. The Genie appears.
Genie: Give me my lamp back.
Nadakhan wishes for gunpowder, shoves it down the lamp, and fires himself out of the lamp. He lands on a certain red planet where a certain hexapedal creature guards a certain spaceship. The Genie gets into the lamp.
Amset-Ra: Well, that was fun. Time for the battle!
Tee-Vee: Boot greetings.exe.
Audience: TEE-VEE! TEE-VEE! TEE-VEE!
Tee-Vee: Red Corner = Invizable.
Invizable: The king is back to rock your world!
Tee-Vee: Green Corner = Clutch Powers.
Clutch: With creativity on my side, and no Jek-14 to worry about, there's no way I can lose.
Amset-Ra: How can you win? You're up against three Ultra Agents villains. Two of them appeared in Ninjago. Oh, and Jek-14's appearing in the next battle.
Clutch: Yikes! He beat me once before. He's pre-voted, right?
Tee-Vee: Yellow Corner = Toxikita.
Toxikita: Is everyone afraid of a returning season runner-up?
Invizable: That's nothing. You'd best be afraid of a returning season champion.
Tee-Vee: Blue Corner = Infearno.
Infearno: TRY AND TOUCH ME!!!!!!!!
Frenzy: STOP MIMICKING ME!!!!!!!!!!
Amset-Ra: Yeah, Dr. Infearno.
Dr. Inferno: Did someone just call in an awesome mad scientist?
Amset-Ra: No, Toa Hordika.
Amset-Ra: Boy, that gets him good.
Tee-Vee: Minifigure of the Week = Anuba.
Anuba: Win like an Olympian runner who is without sluggishness!
Tee-Vee: Fighter of the Week = Mace Windu.
Amset-Ra: Sorry, Tee-Vee, but Palpy threw him out the window.
Li'ella: Ah saw him! He was hangin' on a little ol' clothesline in Coruscant!
Tee-Vee: User of the Week = ArcticSeahorse.
Amset-Ra: Presumably for becoming the next great battle writer.
ArcticSeahorse: And I'm looking forward to it!
Tee-Vee: Prediction = Invizable.
Amset-Ra: That contradicts BubbleBomber's prediction! Are you ill or somet-
Ghoultar: Hi! Welcome to the City of Stiix branch in Gell!
Amset-Ra: Sponsored by the Priest of the Tee-Vee, I suppose.
Ghoultar: How did you know?
Back at the pyramid...
Ding ding ding!
Infearno: I HOPE ONE OF YOU IS A FIRE EATER!!!!!!!!
Toxikita: Hey! That's my hair! Watch it!
Invizable: Missed me by a long shot. Better perfect your homing device, Infearno.
Infearno: I DON'T HAVE ONE!!!!!!!
Tee-Vee: Invizable: Visible = False. Infear-
Anuba: Outta my way! Watch a pro do it! Vizzie became invisible like an undercover spy, then avoided Infearno's flamethrower, the brunt of which fried Toxikita like a chicken!
Toxikita: Your analogies are getting rough, Toa A-n00b-a.
Clutch: Let's build something cool!
Infearno: COOL?!?!?!?! NOT ON MY WATCH!!!!!!!!!
Clutch: O-kay... I admit that I didn't need that.
Anuba: Infearno threw dynamite at Clutch just as he was going to build something!
Invizable: Why don't we form an alliance against Clutch?
Clutch: Perhape my wording was wrong. Let's instead build something awesome!
Clutch: Behold! My Galactic Titan!
Toxikita: Behold! My poison!
Clutch: Seriously, Toxie? Now to unload my missiles onto you all!
Invizable: You have to activate split function first.
Toss! Toss! KA-BOOM!!!!!
Clutch: That wasn't nice!
Anuba: Infearno blew up the Galactic Titan like a cereal box!
Toxikita: RETOX! Where's my chopper?
He tosses a knife to her.
Toxikita: No, Retox, my chop-
Retox tosses a set of false teeth to her.
Toxikita: MY HELICOPTER!
The helicopter crashes through the wall, but it can't because it hasn't been fueled.
Infearno: I've had enough yelling for one day. While you argue, my dear Toxie, I'll finish Clutch!
Invizable: Not if I finish him first.
Infearno: I was never captured by the Agents, I should finish him!
Invizable: You're right... You were captured by the Ultra Agents.
Invizable: Um... Where is Clutch, anyway?
Clutch: Right above you!
Infearno: NO! He's going to crush me with his-
Anuba: And Clutch's MicroFighter Star Destroyer saves the day like a superhero on steroids!
Toxikita: Goodbye, Infearno.
Anuba: Infearno is OUT!
Invizable: Hey! I thought we were a team!
Toxikita: Well, you know, I kinda lied-
Invizable: No one escapes the wrath of a season champion!
Toxikita: I may not be able to escape your wrath, but I can escape you yourself.
Toxikita: I'm the only fighter here who hasn't said that yet.
Invizable: You will when I blast you.
Invizable: YEOW! How did you find me, Clutch?
Clutch: Using my Umbaran MHC's radar and my state-of-the-art weaponry.
Invizable: Oh. Well. That not much. I mean, that's not nearly enough to beat me!
Clutch: Back to the drawing board.
Invizable: And back to shooting you, Toxikita!
Invizable: Defiant now, are we?
Invizable: Watch this! Oh wait, you can't. I'm invisible.
Anuba: And Invizable had just built- I can't quite see it.
Invizable: A Storm Lasher, stupid. You know, the one from Exo-Force?
Invizable: Come to papa...
Toxikita: Oh, I will...
Anuba: Toxikita is OUT! Invizable shot her with the Storm Lasher, that's all.
Invizable: And now, Clutch, I have you in my Clut- what is this?
Clutch: My latest Rube Brickberg contraption.
Invizable: I can't dodge this...
Tip! Clackclackclackclackclack SNAP! Sproinggggg tip CRASH!!!!!!
Anuba: Invizable! Where are you?
Anuba: Ring out! The winner is Clutch Powers!
Clutch: It was foolish of him to run out of the ring to dodge my trap which consisted of dominoes, a mouse trap, my MicroFighter Star Destroyer, and my Umbaran MHC.
Amset-Ra: What did I miss?
Clutch: I won!
Clutch: Invizable cheated.
Clutch: And Infearno stopped sounding like Frenzy.
Priest of the Tee-Vee: Anuba! You dare to overthrow and replace the almighty, benevolent, cute, devilish, exquisite Tee-Vee?
Anuba: Cute? Devilish?
Priest of the Tee-Vee: D'oh!
After the BattleEdit
At the Axle Bar...
Snake: Well, if it isn't the world-famous Nadakhan! What'll it be?
Nadakhan: I'll have a grilled cheese sandwich and a soda.
Laval: Great outlands! Why is there a Phoban mothership parked outside?
Nadakhan: Beats me, matey.
Laval takes off his costume to reveal-
Alien Queen: It's MY mothership.
Nadakhan: Um... Very convincing disguise there, Queenie.
Snake: Here's your chilled grease sandwich and roadster.
Nadakhan: Thanks. I twisted the order to make it sound better.
Alien Queen: You twisted the soda to make it taste bitter?
Nadakhan: End transmission or whatever, matey!
End transmission or whatever, matey.
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