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What? This is a battle? I had no idea...
Season 2, Round 1, Battle 28 (77th battle overall)
Written by NexoByte on December 6, 2015
The Announcer

Caila Phoenix
The Referee

Pippin Reed
The Predictor

The Red Corner
The Phoenix king is actually fighting here. And fighting is not kingly!

Rank 24; 1-0
Nominated by NexoByte
The Green Corner

Nominated by
The Yellow Corner

Nominated by
The Blue Corner
H4XX1N6 15 50 MUC4 FUN! Y0U 540ULD T4Y 1T!

Rank 31; 1-1
Nominated by Commandosaur

Before the Battle

Commander Flash is standing on top of his desk, rattling chains. He always rattles chains when he is mad.


Rose: Please, Commander, you must calm yourself. Fluminox is one of the most powereful-


DJ: But he never was your servant.

Flash: You're right... HE WAS MY SLAVE!

Hoodwink: He was?!

Flash: YES!! Anyway, I must calm myself.

Flash gets down from the desk.

Flash: Anyway, I have sent Streak to eradicate the pesky Pyramid Staff. Those nincompoops are the scourge of Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid. Spike, DJ, Brawn, I want you three to watch the match and report to me what happens. Go!

They leave.

Rose: Commander, I don't want to be a princess. I want to be a-

Flash: QUIET! YOU'LL REVEAL YOUR IDENTITY! Oh dear... By now, the users will have already guessed our identies...

Rose: Sorry.

Flash: Anyway, I want you and Hoodwink to guard Amset-Ra.

Rose: Yes, Commander.

Flash: Terabyte has to win... or else...


Amset-Ra: How long have I been tied to this chair? When will help arrive? When will Nexo Knights be released?

Rose and Hoodwink enter.

Rose: You've been tied to that chair for at least two weeks, help will never arrive, and, uh, Nexo Knights, I don't know... (sweat, sweat)

Hoodwink: One month!

Amset-Ra: Two of those answers seemed negative...


Terabyte: Sorry to leave on short notice, but Commandosaur voted me in to fight Fluminox.

Dr. Inferno: That's okay. Good luck on your match!

Terabyte leaves just as Streak enters.

Streak: So we meet face to face, Pyramid Staff. Which one of you is the leader?

Dr. Inferno raises his hand.

Streak: Dr. Inferno, I presume? When I'm through with you, your new boss will be my boss.

Dr. Inferno: You'll never get away with that! Get him, everyone!

And other groups are looking for Amset-Ra...

Group A

Pharaoh Hotep: So this is Theed?

The Doctor: Indeed. We are now in the point of time shortly before the Battle of Naboo.

Jar Jar: Heyo, boyos! Issa mesa, Jar Jar Binks!

Pharaoh Hotep: I should have seen that one coming.

Jar Jar: Mesa general of Gungan Grand Army!

Jar Jar joins the army, and they leave for the Great Grassy Plains.

The Doctor: Here come the Trade Federation vehicles...

Pharaoh Hotep: What are those among them?

The Doctor: You're right, Mr. Hotep! Those are Daleks! Let's go!

Group B

Sir Fangar: Where is our glooooooorious pharaoh?

Pythor: I don't know. What I do know isssss that the Great Devourer losssssst lassssssst match.

Group C

Great Pharaoh Amuntakken: My grandson? Missing?! We must find him right away!

ProMatter: Well put, great pharaoh amuntakken. let's go.

The Battle

Caila: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid. One of our very own Pyramid Staff members is returning for this battle. Can you guess who he is?

Audience: TEE-VEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Caila: You would have Frenzy-itis if it ever existed. Nope, not him.

Terry: Terabyte?

Caila: Give the bug a prize! That's right, it's Terabyte! Tonight, you get to see a match between wisdom and genius!

Skylor: Announce the fighters already!

Caila: OK, OK! In the Red Corner is the wise Phoenix king, Fluminox!

Fluminox: In order to truly accomplish the art of fighting, one must eliminate the Pyramid Staff's computer genius.

Caila: In the Blue Corner is the world-renowned hacker, Terabyte!

Terabyte: Technically, this is an easy fight! All I have to do is hack your speech and embarass you!

Fluminox: The Phoenix king will now plan wisely, given his opponent's plan.

Terabyte: D'oh!

Hitomi: Grandpa, can I become a real Exo-Force warrior if I predict this fight?

Sensei Keiken: You already are a warrior, Hitomi.

Hitomi: Oh. Right. Well, both fighters are brilliant in their own way. I don't think Terabyte will be able to carry out his plan, and Fluminox will incinerate him. Therefore, I believe Fluminox will win.

Terabyte: Just you wait and see about that!

Hitomi: Wanna bet?

Terabyte: Um...

Caila: Pippin, do the honors.

Pippin: Brawl!


Fluminox: It is recommended that the initial move of a fighter is to charge directly at his opponent.

Terabyte: I don't think so!


Terabyte: The initial move of the Phoenix king is to perform a certain chicken dance. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Fluminox: The Phoenix king is mortified.

Terabyte: And eliminated!

Fluminox: The Phoenix king does not take insults lightly. To obtain true success, the glorious form of the Phoenix king will now build his temple.


Fluminox: The light at the end of the tunnel is near.

Terabyte: I'm so sorry you decieved yourself. The light at the end of the tunnel is really my hacker beam!


Fluminox: Smart people will not hack their opponent's speech. The Phoenix king will now take to the skies.


Terabyte: Uh-oh.


Terabyte: Now look what you've done. You've fried the circuits of my mech. On the bright side, it's twenty below outside. Thanks for warming us up!

Icepaw: Ya dawg

Icebite: Rly dude

Strainor: What's their deal?

Stealthor: Thanks to that latest attack, their sppech has been perma-hacked by Terabyte.

Strainor: Oh.

Terabyte: It ain't over till it's over!

Fluminox: And it is indeed over.


Terabyte: YAAAAG!

Pippin: It looks like Fluminox is our-

Terabyte: Liar, liar, pants on fire!

Pippin: HOT HOT HOT!

Fluminox: And now, if his opponents will excuse him, the Phoenix king is on his way to obtaining three wins in a row.

Terabyte: Ha! While you were busy gloating, I just rebuilt my mech!

Fluminox: Out of what? the Phoenix king asked.

Terabyte: You're right... Oh, and we already have a narrator.

Fluminox: The Phoenix king does not care. His opponent is as the ashes of a burnt tree.

Terabyte: And you are as the ashes of a-



Fluminox: The Phoenix king hates intruders.

Voom Voom: Did I come at a bad time?

Terabyte: Yes. I mean, you're just in time!

Voom Voom: For what?


Voom Voom: AAAAHHHH!


Caila: Whoa! Did you see that?! Terabyte shot down Voom Voom and he landed on Fluminox! He's down!


Caila: Um... I take back that last sentence.

Fluminox: The Phoenix king's heart burns as the sun.

Terabyte: What?! Your heart burns the sun?! Technically, that's impossible!

Fluminox: Perhaps, the Phoenix king mused, his opponent does not understand the meanings of his proverbs. Anyhow, his opponent will be eradicated in due time.

Terabyte: Fat chance!


Fluminox: How did the Phoenix king's opponent hack him without his mech?

Terabyte: Martian Madness magic.

Fluminox: That figures, the Phoenix king said.

Terabyte: Whoa, this must be the longest battle this season! Oh well, it will soon end... IN MY FAVOR!

Fluminox: The Phoenix king does not agree with his opponent.

Terabyte: Perhaps, then, you'll agree with my blaster?

Fluminox: The Phoenix king nominates the Flying Phoenix Fire Temple to agree with his opponent's blaster.

Terabyte: Ha! You just made a fool of yourself! In front of 10,000 people!

Fluminox: At least no one will see the Phoenix king blushing.

Terabyte: I need another Voom Voom...

Fluminox: Flinx, the Phoenix king's son, you will inherit all of the Phoenix king's opponent's possessions when he is defeated by the Phoenix king.

Terabyte: That's nineteen time you said "The Phoenix king"! Now I get to blast you nineteen times!


Fluminox: Ugh... The Phoenix king... is finished...

Pippin: Terabyte wins!

Terabyte: I hope I don't face Kai again...

In the stands...

Trendsetter: Shadowy helmeted figures, eh? That's, like, old-school! Those huys appeared in William Plate's novel Oranges and Peaches. Are you really, like, from that book?

DJ: No. We're from the fut-

Spike: Quiet! You'll give us away!

Hoodwink: Plus, the users might find out about us!

DJ: Oh.

Trendsetter: So you're the Angry Birds from, like, 2016?


Spike: Let's go.

After the Battle

Commander Flash is playing LEGO Dimensions.

Flash: They have to return soon. It's fifteen minutes past the battle.

Streak enters.

Streak: Guess what? I beat the Pyramid Staff!

Flash: Yes!

Streak: Well, I would have, if they hadn't gotten away.

Flash: No!

Streak: Also, DJ, Hoodwink, and Spike are at the cafeteria.

Flash: No!

Streak: And DJ neaely revealed our identities.

Flash: No!

Streak: Terabyte won!

Flash: Yes!

The door breaks down, revealing Sir Fangar and Pythor!

Pythor: Where is Amsssssset-Ra?

Flash: No! I mean, hold it right there. Are you two members of the Pyramid Staff?

Pythor: Technically.

Sir Fangar: We are one of four gloooooorious groups looking for Amset-Ra.


Sir Fangar and Pythor: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Flash: One group down, three to go.

Moments before, in Group B...

Pythor: Look, Ssssssir Fangar, there are TARDISSSSSS officcccccers going into the cafeteria.

Sir Fangar: I see them. Let's attack them!

Soon, Hoodwink, DJ, and Spike are tied up, back to back.

DJ: What was that for?!

Spike: That was nasty!

Hoodwink: I'm calling Commander Flash!

Pythor: Look who hasssss your cccccccell phone.

Hoodwink: *gulp*

Sir Fangar: You will tell us all we want to know.

Spike: Don't tell them a peep.

DJ: We won't tell you a peep!

Hoodwink: Yeah! Not a peep!

Pythor: We'll ssssssee about that...


Pythor: Well, if it isssssssssn't my old enemy Nya. Would you like to join usssssssss?

Nya: Are you part of the Pyramid Staff, too?

Sir Fangar: Yes.

Nya: I have a weapon that might be able to help you. Actually, four of them.

Pythor: Issssss it the Golden Weaponssssssss of Sssssspinjitzu?

Nya: Nope.

Sir Fangar: The gloooooorious Fang Blades!

Nya: Yes!

Group C

Great Pharaoh Amuntakken: Listen, ProMatter. I just called the Aloha Team.

ProMatter: you mean the alpha team.

Great Pharaoh Amuntakken: Yes. Right. Anyway, they're going to lend us their Mobile Command Center for us to use on our mission!

ProMatter: excellent!

Thirty minutes later...

Great Pharaoh Amuntakken: Thanks for the MCC, Dash! Take care now! All right, ProMatter, let's go!

Soon, the Mobile Command Center is racing down the hallway.

ProMatter: look, great pharaoh, there are tardis agents in the way!


Great Pharaoh Amuntakken: It's a trap!

Admiral Ackbar: Well, duh!

Laugh track

Curtis Bolt: I just had that thing fixed!

ProMatter: we just ran over some cleverly places nails that the tardis agents placed down. what will the aloha team say.

Great Pharaoh Amuntakken: Alpha Team.

ProMatter: that's all?

Rose and Brawn emerge from hiding.

Rose: Amuntakken and ProMatter, you're under arrest.

Great Pharaoh Amuntakken: What for?

Rose: One, you are woeking with our enemy. Two, you were speeding down a hallway at 90 mph.

Rose handcuffs the two and drags them away. Brawn confiscates the Mobile Command Center.

Brawn: You prisoners. We get ransom money.

Great Pharaoh Amuntakken: Fat chance!

Group A

The Doctor: Well, we got our Dalek, and the Gungans won.

Pharaoh Hotep: Great. Now we have to put up with Jar Jar for a couple more decades.

The Doctor: Not if we get out of- oh, no.

Pharaoh Hotep: Those Naboo Security Officers are confiscating the TARDIS!

The Doctor: I knew we shouldn't have parked in that "No Parking" zone.

Pyramid Staff

Dr. Inferno: Sorry that we lost the fight with that TARDIS guy.

Axel: I wonder where Nya went.

Wyldstyle: Oh look! Here comes Fluminox!

Fluminox: The Phoenix king would like to join the Pyramid Staff.

Dr. Inferno: Great! Just show me your ID.

He does.

Dr. Inferno: You're in.

Ogel: Ypu won't believe this, but I saw Terabyte leaving with a TARDIS agent.

Wyldstyle: WHAT?!

Axel: WHEN?! WHO?! WHY?! WHERE?! HOW?!

Dr. Inferno: Now we know that Terabyte is a double agent. Sorry guys.

Frenzy: We need to STOP THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ogel: Indeed.

Dr. Inferno: Let's go.

Things truly look hopeless for the Pyramid Staff... Tune in next battle to find out what happens next.

The Winner
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See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.

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