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This. Is. Season 2.
Season 2, Round 1, Battle 17 (61st battle overall)
Written by NexoByte on September 30, 2015
The Announcer

Count Dooku
The Referee

Count Dooku
The Predictor

Count Dooku
The Red Corner
At last, we finally have a red fighter in the red corner. Even better, he's a season champion.

Rank 1; 5-0
Nominated by Punctuation Penguin
The Green Corner
Rancor: bitterness or resentfulness, especially when long-standing. What is this, a walking dictionary?!

Nominated by Punctuation Penguin
The Yellow Corner
Here's hoping this guy will rock the house tonight!

Nominated by Surtatb2007
The Blue Corner
This guy is misunderstood. In fact, he's probably smarter than both the Skull Twins put together.

Unranked; 0-1
Nominated by Commandosaur

Before the Battle

Amset-Ra, Invizable, and Tee-Vee walk up to the front door of Jabba's Palace. Amset-Ra knocks on the door, and the security droid pops out of the door and accidentally hits Amset-Ra in the face.

Amset-Ra: Ow! Watch it!

Invizable: Good thing I don't have a face to get hit.

Amset-Ra: But you do have your glasses.

Security Droid: What do you want here at Jabba's Palace?

Amset-Ra: We would like to stage a battle at the-

Security Droid: Hold it. I recognize you as Amset-Ra from Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid. You've had two matches on this planet so far.

Amset-Ra: Three if you count Alien vs. Lord Garmadon from last season, which was held in Mos Eisley Cantina.

Security Droid: Whatever. Anyway, you may enter.

The door opens, and everyone troops inside.

Invizable: Ooh, I don't feel so well. I gotta lay down. Invizable leaves.

Amset-Ra: Well, we'll need a new announcer. Ogel is still in jail, Wyldstyle is still bullying Lord Business, Morro lost his car keys, and-

Dr. Inferno: Can I do it?

Amset-Ra: Losers don't announce. Anyway, Eglor only announces the finals, and-

Bib Fortuna enters with Benny.

Bib Fortuna: You wanna wonga?

Amset-Ra: Hey, thanks for the announcer, Bib! Let's see what you've got!

The Battle

Benny: SPACESHIP! Spaceship spaceship spaceship SPACESHIIIIIP!

Amset-Ra: That's the worst announcer I've ever seen. CORONA!



Frenzy: What about ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amset-Ra: Well, I don't know about-

Frenzy: I'll give you five hundred DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In CASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Amset-Ra: Deal.

The REAL BattleEdit

Frenzy: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Figting PYRAMID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Today's match will take place in the RANCOR PIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leia:' Unhand me, you creep!

Jabba: Sap.

TC-17: I had no idea that you spoke exactly like the great Hypaxxus-5.

Frenzy: In the Rancor Pit is none other than the Rancor HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rancor: RAWR!

Frenzy: Dropping into the Rancor Pit first is the master of lightning-

Jay: Me?

Frenzy: ELECTROLYZER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Electrolyzer: Nyahahahahahahaha.. You zhall be reduzed to azhez onze I am finizhed with you!

Frenzy: Dropping into the Rancor Pit second is the master of stone, POHATU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pohatu: Golden Mask or none, I'll defeat you!

Frenzy: Dropping into the Rancor Pit third is the master of... of... Ah, just forget it, it's CRANIAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Craniac: I will win, because there is no Mace Windu to stop me.

Amset-Ra: Jabba and Bib Fortuna will be giving awards today.

Jabba: Bosa malakulu TheAnonymousA.

TheAnonymousA: I still won't be known!

Bib Fortuna: Bosa obetia Bansha.

Bansha: Vooooote meeeeeeee iiiiiiiiiin...

Frenzy: Before being dropped into the Rancor Pit, Oola and a Gamorrean Guard will give their PREDICTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oola: *gulp* R-r-rancor...

Gamorrean Guard: Squeal!

Oola: He said Pohatu.


Oola and Gamorrean Guard: Aaaaaahhhhh...



Amset-Ra: Tee-Vee, start the match.

Tee-Vee: Boot rancor_sequence.exe.

Jabba's throne slides over the trap door, and a TV screen is put in front of him.

Pohatu: Protector! Protect me!

Pohatu's radio clicks to life.

Protector of Stone: I can't for three reasons: 1. Amset-Ra says no outsiders are allowed, 2. I'm afraid of the Rancor, and 3. I'm too busy fighting the Skull Spiders.

Pohatu: I see.

Electrolyzer: Nyahahahaha... Let'z zee how you like LIGHTNING!


Pohatu: Ugh... short... circuiting...

Frenzy: Electrolyzer just shocked Pohatu really HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tee-Vee, is he ELIMINATED!!!!!!!!???????

Tee-Vee: Eliminated: Pohatu = False.

Frenzy: OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Craniac: Eat some lasers, you big Rancor!

Rancor: RAWR!


Craniac: Are you able to crush bone that easily?

Frenzy: Those moves are SELF-EXPLANATORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amset-Ra: Announce them anyway.

Frenzy: FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rancor just smashed CRANIAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rancor: RAWR!

Electrolyzer: Hungry, boy? I hope Craniac will zuvvize!

Toss! Gulp!

Rancor: Burp!

Tee-Vee: Elimimated: Craniac.

Frenzy: Rancor just ate CRANIAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need to consider buying him for my Cooking with a Crazy Crook RECIPES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Electrolyzer: Now, Rancor, let'z give you a ztomachache, zhall we?

Pohatu: Groan...

Frenzy: Pohatu is STIRRING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pohatu: Protector! Protect me!

Protector of Stone: Remember my answer from earlier?

Pohatu: Well, let's just say that Amset-Ra repealed his rule, Rancor is eliminated, and you won your battle.

Protector of Stone: Deal.

The Protector of Stone falls through the trap door.

Rancor: RAWR!


Protector of Stone: HEY! My staff is not a chew toy!

Electrolyzer: I already gave him one; hiz name iz Craniac! Now, allow me to charge my lightning launcherz and-

Protector of Stone: Lightning!

Zap! Dodge!


Protector of Stone: NO.

Frenzy: Protector, where did you get your STAFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Protector of Stone: I got it at a buy one get one not-so-free sale at-

Amset-Ra: Let me guess... Brickmart?

Protector of Stone: How did you know?

Amset-Ra: People are always bringing up those running gags.

Pohatu: I thought they didn't have Brickmarts on Okoto.

Protector of Stone: I imported it from Heartlake City.

Electrolyzer: CONZTRUCT!


Amset-Ra: What a surprise. It's his own vehicle.

Frenzy: I'm announcing HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amset-Ra: I know.


Pohatu: Boomerangs!


Rancor: RRAAWWRR!!

Frenzy: As Electrolyzer begins his countdown to dropping his EMP bomb, Pohatu has propped Rancor's mouth OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Electrolyzer: ZEVEN!... ZIX!...

Protector of Stone: C'mon, staff... charge already...

Pohatu: Boomerang!

Wooshwooshwoosh... CLONK!

Rancor: RARGH!

Frenzy: A direct HIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Electrolyzer: VIVE!... VOUR!...

Protector of Stone: Almost done...


Pohatu: My boomerang!

Frenzy: Rancor snapped the boomerang like a BONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Electrolyzer: THREE!...

Protector of Stone: ONE!...

Electrolyzer: TWO!...

Protector of Stone: TWO!...

Electrolyzer: ONE!...

Protector of Stone: THREE!...


Frenzy: The light is too bright to see ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh wait, they're both ELIMINATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tee-Vee: Referee job status: Stolen.

Pohatu: Eat boomerangs, Rancor!... Oh wait, I tried that and it didn't work... Aha!



Tee-Vee: Winner = Pohatu.

Frenzy: Pohatu repeatly chopped Rancor with his boomerangs like an ONION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amset-Ra: CORONA!


Frenzy: Eeeeeennnnddd trraaaaannnnnsssmmmmiiiiiisssssssiiiioooooonnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...


Shortly before the transmission ends, Malakili starts crying, so Bib Fortuna throws him in the dungeon.

After the Battle

Amset-Ra: Well, our Tattooine vacation is already over.

Anubis Guard: Amset-Ra! Pharaoh Hotep accidentally broke the fourth wall!

Amset-Ra: And I don't even have insurance for that...

End Transmission.

The Winner
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See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.

How much did you enjoy Electrolyzer vs. Rancor vs. Pohatu vs. Craniac?

The poll was created at 02:12 on November 29, 2015, and so far 0 people voted.