Insert pointless introductory joke here. Wait, hasn't this already been done?
The Announcer: TBD
The Referee: See above.
The Predictor: See above.
Before the BattleEdit
Amset-Ra: Well, folks, I guess this is it for ARFP. Our ratings have gone down big time since Tee-Vee lost, and K-2SO was booed out of the stadium. The fans are demanding ticket refunds, even when my policy specifically stated "No Refunds".
Wyldstyle: Tough luck for us. Where can we go now?
Amset-Ra: I hear Assembly Tower is hiring janitors.
Wyldstyle: Let's go!
As they leave, an oddly familiar figure enters the pyramid.
???: THE MIDGARD SERPENT NOW CLAIMS THIS PLACE AS HIS OWN.
???: WELCOME TO THE MIDGARD SERPENT's NEW DOMAIN. EVEN THOUGH ONLY A HANDFUL OF MINIFIGURES ATTENDED TODAY, THE SHOW MUST GO ON. I WILL BE YOUR ANNOUNCER, REFEREE, PREDICTOR, AWARD GIVER, JUDGE, AND, LAST BUT NOT LEAST, YOUR MASTER.
Emmet: Oh joy.
???: THE MIDGARD SERPENT DETECTS RESISTANCE. PERHAPS THIS WILL CURE IT?
He breathes an awesome wave of fire at a group of empty seats, toasting, grilling, and flambeing them instantly.
Dr. Inferno: Nice reference.
???: GET OUT.
Dr. Inferno: But I'm one of the fighters.
'???: THEN STAY. ???: THE MIDGARD SERPENT DOES NOT FEEL LIKE GOING THROUGH THE CRUEL DETAILS OF ANNOUNCING LOWER MORTALS LIKE THESE.
Alien Queen: I'll have you know I'm a QUEEN.
???: THE MIDGARD SERPENT DOES NOT CARE IN THE LEAST. THE MIDGARD SERPENT GIVES THE MINIFIGURE OF THE WEEK AWARD TO KRUX AND ACRONIX FOR SUCCESSFULLY OVERLOADING THE INTERNET WITH ADVERTISEMENTS IRL. THE MIDGARD SERPENT GIVES THE USER OF THE WEEK AWARD TO SURTATB2007 FOR RETURNING FROM THE DEAD.
Surtatb2007: But I wasn't-
???: THE MIDGARD SERPENT PREDICTS SENSEI WU WILL WIN. YES, THE MIDGARD SERPENT DOES PLAY FAVORITES. THE MIDGARD SERPENT WILL NOW START THE BATTLE.
Sensei Wu: Nope. I broke your toy two matches ago.
Nadakhan: Shiver me timbers!
Dr. Inferno: Construct!
Dr. Inferno: Ta-daaaa! It's my new-and-improved Volcano Laser Cannon 3000!
Alien Queen: Where's the volcano?
Dr. Inferno: No need for one! It's fully portable!
Alien Queen: In that case, I'll take it to the trash. ALIENS! FORMATION 11!
Aliens: MA'AM YES MA'AM!
Alien 1: I hate this formation...
Alien 2: Is this the one where we all stack on top of each other and the queen spins around and around and slams us one by one into the target?
Alien 1: Yep.
Nadakhan: That be a wimpy attack! Now I be showin' ye how to encase Sensei Wu in a Djinn Blade! First, ye need the Djinn Blade.
He draws it from somewhere in his bottomless back pocket.
Nadakhan: Now ye say the magic words.
Sensei Wu: I quit.
Nadakhan: Ye mean ye forfeit the match?
Sensei Wu: No, I forfeit your game show.
Nadakhan: Aw, don't be worryin', there be other contestants! Like ye, me queen!
Alien Queen: I'M BUSY OVER HERE.
WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM!
Dr. Inferno: You're only melting your soldiers in my new heat shield! Now it's my turn!
Grundalychus (who just showed up): O blinding light... The laser's might'ly firing... It is the beam of your dear queen's death...
Alien Queen: What a way to treat your queen! Yes, YOUR queen. Summon mothership!
Dr. Inferno: YES! THANK YOU, O MIGHTY ALIEN QUEEN! I SHALL REMEMBER YOU ALWAYS!
Alien Queen: IT'S NOT FOR YOU. Well, technically it is...
The mothership bursts through the ceiling.
Alien Queen: Faster than last time... At least they got my order right.
Dr. Inferno: I'm... well... kinda reluctant to shoot down the ride that takes us to all our season finales...
Alien Queen: You're holding back... Good thing I don't have to!
Dr. Inferno: My cannon...
Alien Queen: What about it?
Dr. Inferno: You destroyed it.
Alien Queen: Destroyed what?
Dr. Inferno: My cannon.
Alien Queen: What about it?
Dr. Inferno: You destroyed it. For this, I shall have my revenge!
Alien Queen: :O You broke the pattern! It's time for my ultimate dominion of this match!
Sensei Wu: You won't win, Nadakhan.
Nadakhan: Nay, but If I be not winning, then ye be not either!
Nadakhan: HARHARHARHAR! I win!
Dr. Inferno: Showoff.
Drop! Bounce bounce bounce!
???: THE MIDGARD SERPENT DECLARES SENSEI WU ELIMINATED AFTER THE DJINN BLADE HE WAS TRAPPED IN BOUNCED OUT OF THE RING AFTER HE NADAKHAN DROPPED IT DUE TO BEING TAZED BY DR. INFERNO.
Alien Queen: Such loony buffoons.
Dr. Inferno: Aren't you supposed to have a big fancy pirate ship?
Nadakhan: Aye, but I just had my revenge on the landlubber that broke it two matches ago. Perhaps the orbiting ship will suffice.
He flies up to the queen's mothership.
Alien Queen: But you're not supposed to-
Nadakhan: Of course I can fly! I be havin' ghost legs, remember?
Alien Queen: What... hit me...
Nadakhan: Me other Djinn Blade.
Mothership Internal Computer: Saboteur detected. Booting countermeasures.
Nadakhan: Nay. Nay! NAY!
???: THE MIDGARD SERPENT DECLARES NADAKHAN ELIMINATED AFTER THE ALIEN QUEEN'S MOTHERSHIP SECURITY ACTIVATED THE EJECTOR SEAT.
Alien Queen: Wh- Where am I?
Dr. Inferno: H... Haha... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THE ALIEN QUEEN HAS AMNESIA!
Alien Queen: NO YOU FOOL. ALIENS! FORMATION 5!
Aliens: No! Not the sword formation!
Alien Queen: YES. THE SWORD FORMATION.
She scoops up the Aliens, forms them into a sword, and uses it to golf-putt Dr. Inferno, but he rebounds off the ropes and into Alien Queen. The alien sword's weight causes her to stumble out of the arena.
Alien Queen: AND I WAS SO CLOSE TO ROUND 3! CURSE YOU, DOCTOR IVAN JULIUS INFERNO!
Dr. Inferno: Wheee! I've got Roman blood in me!
???: THE MIDGARD SERPENT IS OUTTA HERE. STUPID ITALICS TEXT STOLE MY JOB. DR. INFERNO WINS.
???: THE MIDGARD SERPENT REGRETS BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL.
After the BattleEdit
Dr. Inferno: Welp, time to prepare for Round 3! What's this?
He has passed by the surveillance room. He enters, and, upon looking at one of the screens, sees two unknown criminals escaping from the max-security sarcophaguses (sarcophagi?) Unknown to him, it's Shadow and Bird.
Dr. Inferno: Time to increase our prison guard. Stupid lazy mummies. That's why I hire cyborg humans to do my dirty work. I'm calling Amset-Ra!
Ten digits and one hour later, Amset-Ra and Wyldstyle return.
Dr. Inferno: Why are you wearing janitor costumes with the Hero Factory logo?
Amset-Ra: Long story. Now let's go fix those max-security sarcophagi (sarcophaguses?)!