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This is a battle (duh).
Season 2, Round 1, Battle 32 (81st battle overall)
Written by Surtatb2007 and NexoByte on December 31, 2015
The Announcer

Someone you will meet, or have met
The Referee

Someone who is so incredibly unimportant that you do not need to know the identity of this being
The Predictor

Do you really want to be bored by me?
The Red Corner
Alpha Draconis
Alpha Draconis
He is a humble, awesome alien, yet he resides in a theme bearing the lowly name of "UFO". A creative alien in a not-so-creative theme. So sad...

Rank 21; 2-1
Nominated by Commandosaur
The Green Corner
Crystal King
Crystal King
This guy is MADE of Martian crystals. You know what time it is? It's CRYSTAL MINING TIME!!!!!!

Unranked; 0-1
Nominated by Commandosaur
The Yellow Corner
Darth Maul
Darth Maul
This Sith is awesome. But his "awesome" is not awesome. So, overall, is he awesome?

Nominated by Punctuation Penguin
The Blue Corner
First Order Flametrooper
First Order Flametrooper
Marshmallows, anyone?

Nominated by TheAnonymousA

Before the Battle

Kylo Ren: Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Captain Phasma: Why not a very bad night?

General Hux: The citizens of the D'Qar system will have a very bad one.

GK-8376: Sir, you have a visitor.

Kylo Ren: Who is it?

Visitor: My name is Commander Flash.

10 seconds before...

The Doctor: Well, on the bright side, we just,ripped open the space time continuum, bringing Team F to us.

Team F: Hi! Where are we?

Pharaoh Hotep: Are you guys the cheerleading squad from Team E?

Finn: This is no time for jokes. I know where we all. we're in the First Order base on an Imperial Star Destroyer.

Benny: Spaceship SPACESHIP SPACESHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ACU Trooper: For the sake of our ears, let's BLOW UP THIS SPACESHIP!!!!!!!

Benny: Goodbye, spaceship.

General Hux: Seize them!

The Doctor: Fire the detonators and we'll get out of here at light speed.

Finn: I hope that's not from falling 186,000 something miles per hour to the closest planet.

The Doctor: It is.

General Hux: You can't! We have a visitor for you- and his name is Commander Flash.

Jay: Let's turn him into Commander Hashbrown.

Finn: Let's blow this thing!


Kylo Ren: Send Squadron One after them while Squadron Two will infiltrate the ARFP. One of the Squadron Two Flametroopers, RY-4639, will be a contestant in today's battle.

Captain Phasma: Yessir.

The Battle

Streak: Welcome to another pointless battle! I, Streak, will be your announcer. DJ here-

DJ: Hey, guys!

Streak: -will be your predictor, and Hoodwink-

Hoodwink: Hi!

Streak: -will be your referee.


Flash: I have sent two henchmen and a henchboy to take over ARFP. The audience will never suspect a thing.

Back at the match…

Spyclops: Are you guys TARDIS agents?!

Streak: Uh… no, no, we're just a couple of happy-go-lucky kids looking for a job. Now, where were we… Oh, yeah… In the Red Corner is-

Meanwhile, in Amset-Ra's office…

Rose: Position the ladder a little closer.

Spike: I'm trying, but it's so hard to reach into Amset-Ra's top shelf to get the Super Crown!

Spike positions the ladder and starts to climb it.

Brawn: Brawn hungry! Brawn eat ladder!

Rose: NO, BRAWN!


Spike: WAH!


Rose: Okay, now let's see how much money is in his piggy bank…

Spike: Brawn, you and Frenzy are going to be great friends…

Before you can say "Are you crazy? Frenzy is their enemy!", Streak is through with his introductions, and DJ has predicted Darth Maul.

Streak: Hoodwink?

Hoodwink: Fight!

Darth Maul: Awe-soooooome!

Flametrooper: Anyone for Darth Maul-flavored marshmallows?

Alpha Draconis and Crystal King: ME!

Flametrooper: Coming right up!

Darth Maul: Awwwwee-soooooooooooome!


Flametrooper: My… gun…

Darth Maul: Awesome, awesome, awesome, I'm awe-

Crystal King throws Alpha Draconis at Darth Maul.


Crystal King: Me win! Me win!

Alpha Draconis: No, you loser. Watch this!


Streak: Alpha Draconis has built his UFOs.

Alpha Draconis: UFOs! Abduct this golem!

Crystal King: Me no golem, me-


Streak: WOW! The tractor beam is strong enough to abduct Crystal King!

Crystal King: You not see last of me!

Alpha Draconis: Don't you worry, you little old golem… I'm pretty sure I have seen the last of you.

Flametrooper: Ahem.

Alpha Draconis spins arouns to see a First Order Transporter, and Flametrooper standing in front of it.

Flametrooper: I decided to bring this baby into battle today. I hope Captain Phasma won't mind.


Terabyte: Oh come on, guys, can't you take a joke?


Flametrooper: Much better. Well now, I'm almost late to destroying you.

Flametrooper climbs inside to see-

Flametrooper: DARTH MAUL?!

Darth Maul: Awe-soooooome!


Flametrooper: Much better… again. Now to destroy Alpha Draconis.

Alpha Draconis: You won't find that too-


Alpha Draconis: -easy…

Flametrooper: Come on out, troops!

The First Order Transporter's bay door opens, and a bunch of wind-up First Order Stormtroopers stream out, followed by Darth Maul, who is lightsabering them all.

Flametrooper: Noooooo!

Darth Maul: Awe-sooooooome!

Flametrooper: Shut up!

The First Order Flametrooper tries to run over Darth Maul, but he flips onto the roof.

Flametrooper: You can't hide from me forever!

Darth Maul Force-deconstructs the UFO containing Crystal King, and it falls on Alpha Draconis.

Alpha Draconis: AARGH!

Crystal King: Yay! Me free! Me crush First Order Transporter!

Hoodwink: I think Crystal King is beginning to sound like Brawn.

DJ: Yeah, and he's about to bite off more than he can chew.


Crystal King: It chip off of old block.

Flametrooper: What?

Darth Maul: Awe-soooo-

Audience: SHUT UP!!!!

Crystal King: Me check to see if anyone is inside.

Darth Maul: This is too easy…


Crystal King: Me chipped.

Streak: And now Crystal King is throwing some of the wreckage of that UFO at the First Order Transporter, but all it did was knock Darth Maul off of it.

Flametrooper: Ever hear of roadkill, Crystal King?

Crystal King: Road what?


Flametrooper: NOOOOO!


Alpha Draconis: Heh. Thanks for freeing me, Toaster Boy. GYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Streak: The First Order Transporter was destroyed upon colliding with the Rock Monster monarch, causing Flametrooper to crash into the wreckage, thus freeing Alpha Draconis. Let's cut to a commercial.

Are your vehicles breaking down? Do you need an oil change? Then come on down to Squidman's Pitstop!
Customer 1: I love Squidman's Pitstop because Squidman offered to give me an oil change and then confiscated my car.
Customer 2: Squidman took my vehicle, modified the engine, and gave the car back to me for 300% of the price that I bought it for. And that's why Squidman's Pitstop is the best.
Squidman: This is the only unreliable pitstop in the Galaxy City district. Come on down to Squidman's Pitstop, because-
Squidman: We've been wrecking and despairing checking and repairing vehicles since 2009. Call 1-800-555-2829 for an disappointmemt or visit us on Malice Asteroid on Mile 58 on the Phoban Highway.

Streak: While the commercial was on-

Squidman: Oh, and we're opening a branch on Rip-U-Off Road, just off of Crimimal Avenue.

Streak: Stupid commercials interrupting me.

Squidman: The branch will be run by Slizer, my long-time co-worker.

Streak: I hope you're done, Squidman.

Squidman: Yes, I've finished.

Streak: Good. While the commercial was on, Crystal King disposed of Flametrooper, and he landed in a plastic-recycling bin.


The Axle Bar, a popular restaurant across the street from Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid. Many minifigures are sitting at tables or booths. A big screen TV behind the counter is playing the ARFP match. Snake, the barkeep, is serving BrickBurgers to Axel, Ogel, and Eglor, who are sitting at the counter.

Eglor: Higuys!

Axel: Hey.

Ogel: Hey.

Eglor: I'vebeenpracticingannouncingfortheSeason2finale!

Ogel: Try some tongue twisters.

Eglor: Dr.Infernotoldmethesamethinglastseason. WanttoheartheoneaboutTheophilustheThistleSifter?

Ogel: Right, I get the idea.

Eglor: WhoarethoseshadowguysonTV?

Ogel: (trying to control himself) Apparently, they've got new announcers.

Axel: Those are bad guys!

Ogel: Axel! That's confidential!

Axel: Sorry. Anyway, I want to be predictor again!

Ogel: I know how you feel. I want to be referee again. In fact, I'll sign the contract that Invizable signed to become announcer for a season. I'll sign the contract to become the only referee for Season 3!

Axel: I'm signing that contract to become perma-predictor!

Eglor: AndI'msigningthatcontracttobecomeperma-announcer!

Dr. Inferno: (from another table) Ahem. I was the original announcer.

The door opens and Terabyte walks in.

Terabyte: Hey Snake! Pass me one of those BrickBurgers!

All Pyramid Staff eyes turn to Terabyte.

Dr. Inferno: TRAITOR!

Terabyte: Technically, I switched sides. Does that make me a traitor?

Dr. Inferno: Don't play dumb with us!

Ogel: Yeah, we all know you joined the TARDIS!

Axel: Ogel! That's confidential!

Ogel: Sorry.

Frenzy: (from Dr. Inferno's table) LOOK!!!!!!!!! (points to the TV) Crystal King just threw Alpha Draconis out of the STADIUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And here comes Darth MAUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone boos. Alpha Draconis crashes through the roof, crushing Terabyte, causing everyone to boo louder.

Snake: What's going on?

Alpha Draconis: Sorry, I was just dropping in for a visit. Can ypounhelp get this debris off of Terabyte?

Snake: Sure. Everyone know I'm the strongest criminal in the Black Hole Gang.

Jawson: (from the counter) That's not true. The JAWSOME me is the strongest.

Snake: Okay, I'll make that second strongest.

Jawson: Me, the second strongest? That's JAWFUL!

Jawson charges at Snake, who sidesteps, and Jawson crashes through the debris, freeing Terabyte.

Terabyte: Thank you, Jawson. Now, if you will pardon me, I am tardy for the TARDIS meeting that I am supposed to attend.

Terabyte leaves.

Alpha Draconis: Hey, that sounds like fun!

Alpha Draconis leaves.

Dr. Inferno: Not him, too!

Back at Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid…

Darth Maul is standing on top of the crumbled remains of Crystal King.

Streak: And there we have it! In a brilliant move, Darth Maul lightsabered Crystal King to smithereens!

Darth Maul: Awe-sooooome!


Mace Windu enters the stadium, followed by Clouse, Dr. Brains, Dr. McScrubs, Alien Queen, Alien, Terry, Kai, Morro, Squidman, William Shakespeare, Fire-Arm, Jack Fury, and Master Chen. They are Pyramid Staff Team G.

Mace Windu: Now the Pyramid Staff teams are complete. Let's destroy the TARDIS.

The rest of Team G: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

After the Battle

Mace Windu just downloaded the app Find the TARDIS onto his phone.

Jay: It seems that Commander Flash is underwater.

Kai: It seems that we might need the help of Aquaman.

Benny: Last I checked Atlantis was under seige by the Black Manta.

Finn: Then let's help them.

Jack Fury: By the way, it was brilliant what you did to Starkiller Base back there!

Finn: Thanks.


Poe Dameron: Red Leader to Blue Squadron. Attack Formation against Black Mamba!

Blue Leader: Roger.

Poe Dameron: Release the divers.

Mace Windu, Finn, Jay, Alien, Terry, Kai, and Benny swim outside.

Mace Windu: It seems like the sub is over there.

Finn: Let's get Aquaman and move out.

Inside the Atlantien palace...

Aquaman: What is you business here, Master Windu?

Mace Windu: We want your help attacking the TARDIS's sub.

Aquaman: Count me in.

End transmission.

The Winner
Darth Maul
Darth Maul
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See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.

How much did you enjoy Alpha Draconis vs. Crystal King vs. Darth Maul vs. First Order Flametrooper?

The poll was created at 18:49 on August 10, 2017, and so far 0 people voted.