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<Previous Battle Next Battle>
Once upon a time, there was a pyramid where minifigures battled each other. One such battle will occur today.
Season 3, Round 2, Battle 3 (119th battle overall)
Written by Nexobyte on April 7, 2017
The Announcer

Wyldstyle
The Referee

Dalek
The Predictor

Cloud of Monstrox
The Red Corner
Achu
Achu
With one heroic sneeze, he blew the too-good dino out of the ring, only to find himself at the losing end of a match with Vizzie the King.

Rank 38; 1-1
Nominated by Commandosaur
The Green Corner
Craniac
Craniac
After finding out he could eliminate the queen, the sensei seemed to avenge her.

Rank 49; 1-2
Nominated by Commandosaur
The Yellow Corner
Nadakhan
Nadakhan
He wished himself a victory over Frenzy, but his conquering of Unikitty was not to be.

Rank 32; 1-0
Nominated by NexoByte
The Blue Corner
Alien
Alien
He did the impossible: defeat Tee-Vee in a battle. Metalbeard had revenge.

Rank 28; 2-1
Nominated by Commandosaur

Before the Battle

In Cloud Cuckoo Land...

Unikitty: YES! I'm getting my own TV show! Who's gonna watch it?!

Emmet: Not me. It's too girly.

Wyldstyle: I'm so proud of you, Unikitty!

Emmet: This isn't awesome.

Unikitty and Wyldstyle stare at him.

Wyldstyle: THIS from the guy who popularized "Everything is Awesome"? Give me a break.

She leaves for ARFP.

Unikitty: No, Emmet, you can't be on my show. It's allll mine!

Emmet: What a relief...

The Battle

Wyldstyle: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Fighting Pyramid, a place of vengeance and awesomeness!

Amset-Ra: Ogel is still missing. All of his usual bases are occupied by the Serpentine. Must be the free cash he left behind.

At Ogel Underwater Base...

Skales: YESSSS! OGEL LEFT HISSSSSS ENTIRE SSSSSTASSSSSH OF PIZZZZZZA BEHIND!

Mezmo: Chill. It'ssss jusssst pizzzzza.

Skales stares at Mezmo, who becomes hypnotized.

Skales: You will clean your room.

Mezmo: Yeeeessssss, massssster...

At Ogel Control Center...

Skalidor: Ssssweet! Ogel left behind all of hissssss orb-making sssssuppliesssss!

Bytar: Can I make ssssssome?

Skalidor: No, you Eruptorr impersssssonator.

At Ogel's Mountain Fortress...

Acidicus: *shiver* It'sssss not easssssy being green...

Lasha: Jussssst chill.

Acidicus: What do you think I'm doing?!

Spitta: Hey, at leasssst we have all these time-freezing Ice Orbs.

Acidicus: NO. MORE. COLD.

At a random unnamed Ogel base in the middle of nowhere...

Fangtom: Where are we?

Snappa: We're at a random unnamed Ogel basssse in the middle of nowhere.

Fangtom: Thank you, Captain Obvioussssss.

Captain Obvious: Where am I?

Fang-Suei: You're at a-

Captain Obvious: I know, I know.

At a giant, Ogel-themed skyscraper in Ninjago City...

...

...

Oh, that's right. The Anacondrai like it at ARFP.

Nindroid: Permission to rent this sector.

Owner: I'm afraid I can't do-

Draw weapon sound effect

Nindroid: Reconsider.

Owner: Sure, go ahead.

Nindroid: YAY!

And to imagine that a Nindroid owns a giant, Ogel-themed skyscraper in Ninjago City. Someone call the Ninja!

Back at ARFP...

Wyldstyle: In the Red Corner, beware the might of the lord of the Amazon, Achu!

Achu: Having recovered from my cold, your demise will be swift.

Wyldstyle: Poorly phrased, but it'll do. In the Green Corner, the surprise winner of this season and a Skull Twin ripoff, take it away for Craniac!

Craniac: This match oughtta be easy enough, with only an alien, a pirate, and a guy in a costume.

Achu scowls at Craniac, but he doesn't see it.

Wyldstyle: In the Green Corner, the hard-of-hearing Djinn Sky Pirate captain and one of three pirate captains to have fought this season, Nadakhan!

Nadakhan: Yaharr! Me work at Axle's be really payin' off! Oh, and ye be toast. Mmm... toast...

Wyldstyle shakes her head in amusement.

Wyldstyle: In the Blue Corner is the Alien who illegally defeated Tee-Vee!

Audience: TEE-VEE! TEE-VEE! TEE-VEE!

Alien: Quiet! He isn't even here today!

But the audience doesn't hear him.

Amset-Ra: Alien, let them cheer for Tee-Vee. The audience is practicing their cheering for his match in two weeks.

Alien: Oh.

Wyldstyle: CoM?

Cloud of Monstrox: None of the fighters look truly battle-worthy, save Nadakhan. I expect his expert Djinn Blade and Djinn skills will earn him a fairly easy victory.

Craniac: You don't know my full potential.

Achu: Or mine.

Alien: Or mine!

Craniac: Don't make me laugh, peewee.

Alien: But my queen who's up there in the rafters told me to beat you nice and easy today.

Craniac: Pshh. Not happening.

Nadakhan: While ye be talk in' 'mongst yerselves, I be grantin' Alien's wish of his queen playing with Rathtars while he gets rice and ziti.

Alien Queen: WHO'S THE MORON WHO SUMMONED RATHTARS AGAINST ME?!

Alien: Wow! Thanks, Nadakhan.

Nadakhan: Eat up. Ye've got a nice long battle ahead of ye.

Alien: And I'll win this one for sure!

Nadakhan: Suuuuure ye will. Ye could barely stand to a Hot Dog Man two seasons ago. Ye can't possibly beat any one of us, least of all me.

Alien: I'll try my best!

Nadakhan: Shiver me timbers, didn't Yoda teach ye anything? "Do or do not, there be no try", he be sayin'.

Wyldstyle: Cut the chatter, everyone. Dalek, start us off.

Dalek: NO ONE COMMANDS THE SUPREME RACE OF THE UNIVERSE. READY! SET! EXTERMINATE!

Craniac: Ta-da! Here's my spaceship, ordered in one piece, so that I don't have to waste ten seconds constr-

Zark!

Alien: You may not be wasting time, but you're wasting words. Besides, Wyldstyle told us not to talk.

Nadakhan: Lookie here, mateys, this be Pharaoh Hotep entombed in me Djinn Blade.

Amset-Ra: You just lost my respect, Nadakhan. That's my dad in there.

Nadakhan: So?

Amset-Ra: You're fired from the Pyramid Staff.

Nadakhan: I be not carin' in the least; I be workin' at Axle's instead! As an entertainer!

Amset-Ra: The fact that our ratings drop drastically when I interfere in battles is the only reason I'm not coronaing you right now.

Nadakhan: You can't corona me anyway! You might break me blade, and your dad too!

Achu: O Sun Disc, come to me; And expel these fighters three!

Vorp!

Wyldstyle: And Achu has summoned his Sun Disc. I wonder what he plans to do with it...

Alien: Hey Craniac! Do you realize how much you look like Terry?

Craniac: I'm meaner than he is, and he's neglected in favor of a hacker.

Alien: But he has a better record than you!

Craniac turns on Alien.

Craniac: Records don't matter, underling. And if you want to save yourself a desconstructing, I suggest you stand in front of me.

He does.

SheeeeennnnnnZARK!

Craniac and Achu high five.

Craniac: What a gullible species the Phobans are...

Wyldstyle: Craniac has tricked Alien into standing right in the path of Achu's Sun Disc. That was awesome!

Alien: No it wasn't...

Emmet: You just made my song a lie!

Alien: I did not!

Nadakhan: Too much focus on the Alien here! Sophisticated Djinn pirate comin' through!

Craniac: I wish he'd give up his pride...

Nadakhan: Ye wish ye'd give up yer ride? Wish granted!

Poof!

Craniac: Hey, my speeder bike!

Wyldstyle: Nadakhan just made Craniac's speeder bike disappear!

Nadakhan: I be only havin' one more wish left. Achu, it be yer turn.

Achu: My only wish is that you will leave me alone.

Nadakhan: Sure I can leave ye a bone! In fact, here's the whole skeleton!

Poof! Block!

Wyldstyle: Nadakhan made a skeleton fall out of the sky, but Achu blocked it with his Sun Disc.

Nadakhan: Now I be havin' a wish fer you, matey. I wish-

Zingzingzing!

Craniac: Game's up, Nad.

Nadakhan: It be very bad luck when ye interrupt one's wishes! Now ye'll pay!

Swing!

Craniac: Stop swinging Amset-Ra's dad at me!

Nadakhan: Saaaaay, when ye put it that way, it does sound strange... Here ye go.

He releases Pharaoh Hotep, who is instantly swarmed by reporters.

Reporter 1: Pharaoh Hotep!

Reporter 2: What was it like inside that Djinn Blade?

Reporter 3: Was it rusty in there?

Reporter 4: Did you feel like your energy was being used?

Reporter 5: Can I have your autograph?!

Pharaoh Hotep: Look! It's Mr. Gold!

The reporters stampede across the ring and out of the arena. Alien is trampled.

Dalek: ALIEN IS EXTERMINATED.

Wyldstyle: So tell me, Hotep, what was it like in that Djinn Blade?

Pharaoh Hotep: It was actually quite roomy in there. But knowing the media, they'll twist the story...

Wyldstyle: So we'll call them the Nadakhan Reporters!

Achu: Sun Disc, transform.

CONVERT!

Craniac: What...?

Nadakhan: Ye got to be kiddin'!

Achu: I do not kid. This is a ridable lawn mower with flick missiles.

Flame Thrower: JEEEEESTROOOOO! ACHU COMMITTED PLAGIARISM!

Jestro: I DON'T CARE!

Wyldstyle: Yes, Achu did commit plagiarism, for he rebuilt The Glob Lobber out of his Sun Disc.

Craniac: Construct!

CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK

Craniac: It's the Stealth Hunter from Exo-Force.

Hikaru: More plagiarism!

Sensei Keiken: It's okay. This is the only place in the world where plagiarism is accepted.

Hikaru: Oh.

Craniac: Did anyone tell you how truly wimpy your vehicle looks, Sneezy?

Achu: Do not condescend my superiority.

Fwoosh fwoosh!

Craniac: GAH! GET THESE GLOBLINS OUTTA MAH COCKPIT!

Achu: No.

Nadakhan:' Wish granted!

Poof!

Craniac: NOOOO! NOT THE POPCORN! IT BURRRRRNS!

Wyldstyle: Thanks to Nadakhan, another mishearing summons popcorn into the cockpit with Craniac!

Nadakhan: Thanks, Achu! Now I be returnin' th' favor!

Chopchopchopchopchopchopchopchop

Achu: Jestro will be mad at you...

Wyldstyle: Nadakhan has just chopped Achu's vehicle into pieces!

Jestro: It's MY vehicle.

Achu: You have shattered the Sun Disc. For this... you must be entombed... IN CANDY!

Poofpoofpoofpoofpoofpoofpoofpoof

Nadakhan: THIS BATTLE BE SO RANDOM!

Amset-Ra: Next one to speak in caps gets to be Janitor of the Week.

Craniac: JANE, STOP THIS CRAZY THING!

Stumble! Crash!

Dalek: CRANIAC IS EXTERMINATED.

Amset-Ra: Craniac, go get the bucket and mop.

Wyldstyle: Having Globlins and loads of popcorn in the Stealth Hunter took its toll, and it caused Craniac to fly out of control and out of the ring!

Nadakhan: Now it be ye and me, Achu.

Achu: You already underestimate me and my mystical powers.

Bling!

Nadakhan: What be ye doing?!

Achu: You are now hovering two feet above the ground.

Nadakhan: So?

Achu: Then I will put you six feet under the ground. Later, though.

Nadakhan: I wish ye'd do somethin' already!

Achu: I wish you would stop squirming.

Nadakhan: Here be yer rap worm!

Poof! Chomp!

The Great Devourer: *Random Rap Song*

Dalek: ACHU IS EXTERMIMATED. NADAKHAN IS THE WINNER.

Nadakhan: I didn't think I be gettin' this far...

In the shadows somewhere...

???: He's doubting himself. That will make my second match easier after I win my first!

Anubis Guard: What are you doing, Invisible?

Invizable: Gah! Er, uh...

After the Battle

Craniac is mopping the halls below the ring.

Craniac: Why me? That Dalek speaks in caps all the time!

He then sees his speeder bike in the utility closet.

Craniac: I'll get you, Nadakhan...

The Winner
Nadakhan
Nadakhan
<Previous Battle Next Battle>

See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle.

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The poll was created at 03:30 on January 27, 2018, and so far 0 people voted.